Thursday, September 16, 2004


I'm sure most of my readers are former Aggie staffers who know all about the sickening display of egomania known as the Twenty Questions with an Aggie Staffer column.
Putrid, vile blather that it is, it inspired me to write a letter home (to the Aggie of course). While not nearly as well-thought out as the scintillating questions in this downright groundbreaking feature (Note to Aggie Staff: Entertainment Weekly already does this, but at least they have the smarts to call it 20 STUPID Questions and pose them to semi-interesting people) here it is...

Dear Aggie Staffers,

Shame on you.
As a former Aggie editor and current news reporter I learned that one of the most important tenets of journalism is to never become part of the news.
To purposefully, and quite self-servingly, run these pointless wastes of ink in The California Aggie spits in the face of journalists who work tirelessly and without celebration to provide the public with relevant and informative articles. No doubt this idea hatched one giggly night when all your rational thoughts were razed by a case of Apple Pucker and the sticky hot Davis summer.
You've managed with one ill thought out bid for campus celebrity to put a black eye on the good name of the Aggie, all the staffers who worked there before you and everyone who will follow. How can the Aggie ever be taken seriously again?
On the other hand, if you're priming yourselves for important Q&A jobs at Teen People and Cosmo Girl, congratulations. Hilary Duff is ready for you now.


eva said...

WTF is wrong w/these Aggie staffers? I'm seriously considering flying up there, walking in, looking for the schmuck who writes this, slapping her in the face and walking out. Wake up, morons.

Joeja said...

Apple Pucker! Ha! That's genious, Jess.

Oh, and Hilary Duff isn't ready for them now. She isn't talking to the press these days. Or letting them take her picture. Bitch.

- Joeja

Hilary said...

Great letter! But remember, it's Rum-n-Diet Coke she prefers.

But oh man. I'm back now at the Aggie as a reporter after taking the summer off, and oh man, is it hard. For one thing, nobody seems to be doing much work. The campus editor has taken leave until Monday (the day all her O-Week stories are due); the managing editor (of 20-Questions fame) has split to Vegas for a few days; I have yet to see the photo editor, personnel director, design director, and many other people, for that matter. I don't mean to gripe, to pretend that I was some managing editor sent from above, flawless in every way. But at least I (and the rest of our staff last year) was here once in a while. This whole "having no control over anything" thing is harder than I thought it would be.

Jessey said...

Boy do I NOT miss O-week.
It sucked to be a copy editor during O-week.