Google yourself: A variation

Inspired by a cousin's blog, I googled my name in a new way (you can too! Google "*Insert Your Name Here* is") and came up with these delightful results:

Jessica is our symbol of love and happiness and trust
Jessica is proud of her blondness and her backside
Jessica is like a rocket ship headed for the stratosphere
Jessica is a sweetheart don't be JEALOUS
Jessica is a horrible actor.
jessica is a decent actress
Jessica is an expert in analyzing spectra to remotely infer the composition of asteroids, meteorites, the moon and Mars.
Jessica is pretty, but a bad singer.
Jessica is clueless and refuses to clean their home, which means that there are constantly large piles of dirty clothes everywhere.
Jessica is in the midst of a whirlwind tour
Jessica is a female cop
Jessica is a controversial sexy model
Jessica is a high school honor student and enjoys dancing and singing.
Jessica is using fractions and other advanced mathematical concepts to explain how an infinite set of numbers can exist between any two whole numbers.
Jessica is the perfect spice added to an already perfect dish!
Jessica is a dopey girl.
Jessica is a helpless, pouting bimbo
Jessica is complaining (as usual)
Jessica is imprisoned in the attic of a house at an out of the way location.
Jessica is feeling very left out.
Jessica is shocked that the restaurant doesn’t have calamari appetizers.
Jessica is struck by her suitor's suave appearance
Jessica is a little devil at times
Jessica is a mental patient
Jessica is a zombie
Jessica is tangled up in children
Jessica is not real
Jessica is sitting up and crawling
jessica is a fashion queen!
Jessica is subverting the Olly Shoes system.
Jessica is now legally a man in San Antonio
Jessica is Nancy Drew Grown Up
Jessica is so smart to figure out how poison got in the person
Jessica is encouraged to make and follow through with short-term and long-term goals
Jessica is spanked on her bare bottom by Michael Masterson with a short cane
Jessica is in demand
Jessica is a whiney little bore
Jessica is boldly traveling down several fresh new musical avenues
Jessica is eating a brown-bag lunch while all the others buy their lunch
Jessica is a borderline-neurotic perfectionist
Jessica is more nice than shallow
Jessica is not a Britney impersonator, she just happens to have the same looks
Jessica is a worrier
Jessica is still JESSICA!!
Jessica is soon to find out how the other half lives
Jessica is super annoying
Jessica is going to go totally nuts now
Jessica is a sturdy lass
Jessica is on hiatus from lumberjack sports
Jessica is generally available during regular business hours
Jessica is so drunk
Jessica is going through this ordeal for seemingly no reason
Jessica is Offline