Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Propane Wars!

My day yesterday totalled up to one big crap pile.
To catch everyone up...I am six months pregnant and fat and tired and hungry. I also chase around an 18 month old all day while trying to keep my house presentable and also occasionally mix in some actual work for which I get paid.
For those in the know, and those not, I write for job.

ANYWAY...I hearken back to another time and place it was actually just under two months ago.
After the whole propane mix-up shenanigans, I enlisted Owens Energy (aka the Jedis) to battle against AmeriGas (the DARK side) to figure out what the hell was going on.
I was in contact with Owens at least once a week trying to find out who owned my tank, what I should do to get AmeriGas out of my life and you know, what's up with them. They're nice people, we're homies.

So, every week they would tell me, "We've been calling them, they're not calling us back." This went on for OVER a month. And then I got a bill from AmeriGas, which boiled my blood and popped a crazy vein in my brain.
I called them up and bitched them out. The "lady" who works in the front office there, her name is Barbi, told me that we didn't owe them anything. I said good because we never did owe you anything, you trashy tramp. I actually didn't say that.
Then I told her, look, Owens is trying to get together with you people to find out what's up with the what's up and you all need to call them back! She told me that she would send a technician out to our house to CHECK our tank to make sure they owned it. I then told her that we were getting uber low in our tank and would be getting a 50 gallon fill from Owens in the interim. She said that was FINE. I asked her when someone would be coming out from AmeriGas, she said within a week or so. I reminded her that we would be getting propane from Owens in the next couple days, she said "Ok".
That was last Tuesday. On Thursday, Owens showed up, pumped in 50 gallons and left an invoice. Happy day.
Cut to yesterday around noonish...I hear someone walking around my yard, I am still in my PJs so I scrounge around for my robe, pull it on, grab up Elizabeth and go out onto the front porch.
Walking around in my driveway is a AmeriGas technician, who didn't bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell or otherwise annouce his presence.
I say "Hello?" he says "I'm here to TAKE THE TANK" WHAT THE HELL?!?!?
The crazy vein in my brain explodes.
I informed him that *Barbi* told me that someone was coming to CHECK the tank not TAKE the tank, and he tells me that SHE told HIM to come get it. I said no, no. We haven't resolved with the other company who owns the tank. Fat technician man tells me that HE talked to Dennis Owens, of Owens Energy and that Dennis told him it was an AmeriGas tank. I said, they never told ME that and we just had them out here for a fill five days ago. "If you take the tank, you're stealing our propane and I'm not going to let you do that, so you should go now." I told the fatty.
He said, OK, I'll leave it for TODAY, but...well, I skipped over the bit where I told him that Barbi knew Owens was filling us and he told me that she probably told me not to do that and I said she most certainly did NOT say that and he said that Barbi told him that she DID say that and I told fatty that Barbi was a "fucking liar"
and I think hurt his Mormon soul. Oh well, sorry.
So ANYWAY...long story short, I chase the guy off the property by being shrill and evil and call up Owens to find out what the hell is going on!
Actually, I decompressed for about a half hour, called my husband, cried, THEN called Owens.
I MYSELF talked to Dennis Owens who informed me that he had NOT talked to anyone at AmeriGas and that they had NOT resolved the ownership issue. AmeriGas = F-ing LIARS.
I asked Owens to bring out one of their tanks and cut me loose from AmeriGas once and for all because I am over it. See above fat, pregnant and tired explanation.

Then I called the national AmeriGas customer service line and made a thorough complaint about the lying, thieving whores who are running their local office. I told them that we don't live in a big community and I have a big mouth. I have already been spreading the word. I also flip off AmeriGas when I drive by, which does nothing in the grand scheme of things, but makes ME feel better.
Anyway, the saga continues.
I am afraid to leave my house! I might come home to an empty space where my gas tank used to be. I might go medieval on someone's ass today.
Like I told Bob yesterday, if I don't get arrested, it was a good day.
I am so mad!
So. Mad!


cube said...

Or, heaven forbid, you will blog bad things about them!

Unleash the hormones on the villains!

Jessey said...

The hormones are off the leash, and ready to fight. They have much more energy than I do!
I just called our realtor to get him to look into our deed to see if in fact the tank DOES convey with the home.
Lord above, I hope it does! I want to go to AmeriGas and say "boo-yah bitches!" as inappropriate as that is...lord help me!

Jessey said...

Boo. It seems the tank is destined to be the property of evil. Oh well, this will all be over soon and I can get back to my regular bellyaching.