Monday, January 09, 2006

It's post overkill day!

I'm making up for lost time I guess!
Both the kids are sleeping and so is my mom, who's visiting and helping take care of me, the house, the kids etc etc, whilst I recover from major surgery (which incidentally is going extra super well, much better than the last time around).

ANYWAY...
I was catching up with my regular slate of blogs, and I was totally inspired by Amy's recent post, again. Amy, apparently you're very inspiring!

It got me thinking about a time way back when...come there with me now...

It was the summer of 2004. I was five months postpartum, and as such, still a bit flabby, chubby, fugly.
I was invited to the wedding of my dear friend Julie Pepper, who is blond and beautiful and skinny and we secretly hate her...not really, but really. No, I love her. How can you not love someone who thinks that she has fat calves and for that horrible sin will wear jeans every day. In the summer. In Hawaii.
But I digress.
So, I go to Julie's wedding. I dress, um, schlubby. Black skirt, ugly top. I was fat, it fit, an outfit is born.
But AT the wedding, I noticed that almost EVERY other gal there my age was wearing some sort of A-line shift dress. Some sleeveless, some strappy, but all cute. And I mean like 90 percent of the gals were wearing the same exact cut of dress, just different fabric. It was like some bizarro world where a uniform was assigned to the attendees of this wedding and I did NOT get the memo.

It was that very day that I knew I was horribly unfashionable.
I had never even SEEN such a dress being worn by anyone anywhere. Not in magazines, not on TV. Nowhere.
Clearly, this was a trend I did not pick up on. Bad hair, pimply skin, bad makeup and ugly clothes though, I got all those trends that summer...but I digress, again.

At best, I'm no Sienna Miller, trend-setting fashionista. I'm not even a Kelly Osbourne, a horribly out there, but somehow compelling train wreck of hair, makeup and horrible clothes. I'm more of some sort of cross between the professionally rumpled Helena Bonham Carter on a good day and baggy saggy Mary-Kate Olsen on a very bad day. Sort of loose, comfy, flip-floppy, rumply hair, no make-up, make 'em say uhhh. That's my "style"

So now, after I have brought another beautiful child into the world, I feel like I have to take action against myself before I become "That Mom"
That Mom who wears sweatpants to parent-teacher conferences. That Mom who the other moms laugh at during soccer practice. That Mom who doesn't get her eyebrows waxed and looks like a monkey-chimp next to the perfectly groomed moms. That Mom has to drop her kids off for school a block away because they can't believe that their mom actually leaves the house in THAT!
I'm going to have to make a major overhaul.
My mom, bless her heart but she is also That Mom, gave me $100 to spend on clothes as a first step toward my transformation from That Mom to MILF.
Wish me luck!

7 comments:

Amy said...

Good luck! I always have the same problem at weddings, only with my hair. If I pull it up, everybody has it down. If I have it down, every has it up. I can't win, so annoying.

eva said...

You are NOT *that mom*. As your vice bride, I forbid it to happen. We'll have to hatch some sort of plan to stop the evil forces of mommy-fication from taking over. Hmmm..

cube said...

You & Amy are making me feel like a lazy slob sitting here in my USF alumni t-shirt, exercise pants (the ones with the white line running up the leg) & running shoes.

Jessey said...

You shouldn't feel slobbish. Right now, even AFTER my declarative to spruce up, I am wearing PJ pants (though cute ones) a PJ top that's good for nursing and not much else and my ubiquitous grey flannel robe.
Very hot. Very stylish.
Very orange is the new pink.

cube said...

And pink is the new black.

Amy said...

I am wearing a new ivory colored shrug (see, fashion divas wear shrugs, not jackets) with gold thread edgings! (Sorry)

Jessey said...

Well.
Hmm.
Maybe if I get a shower today, I'll dress up.
Otherwise...it's PJs for me. :)