Is this what desperation feels like?

We owe money...lots of it, to lots of people...
Some for medical bills that were not covered by insurance, some for daycare costs that we could not afford to pay, some for past due bills that are in the "creative accounting" rotation for payment, lots and lots for our mortgage.

I've been staying home with the kids since April-ish, maybe four or five months. Before that I worked for about five months at the paper. I made enough money to pay for the daycare, pay the car insurance, buy my gas and get a couple lunches a week. As in, not enough to make it worth it.

Bob's been working steady but in construction, there's no guaranteed money. We can never count on a set amount of money every week, month, etc... Therefore we can never really have a budget, since we have no idea how much income we will have from month to month.
This totally sucks.
Don't get me wrong, when the money is good, it's GOOOOOOOD. But when it's bad, it's nonexistent. And there's really no way to know when it's gonna be what.

So now we owe a LOT of money to a lot of people. Which sucks even worse. I hate being in debt and being indebted.

In a fit of desperation today I signed up for information on egg donation. Yep. I make cute kids, why not spread em around? I probably won't end up doing it, but it's a very interesting option.

I'm also considering getting a night job. Working at night, while the kids are sleeping and home with Bob, and thus need no daycare.
Unfortunately, the night job I'm thinking about applying for is at the devil's big box store....starts with Wal....

Anyway, I'm sure this is what desperation feels like...
Scratchy.