Saturday, December 01, 2007

Dude, I hate you!

Attn: Annoying People
Subject: I totally hate you

To Bassbumper Guy:
Why do you drive down my street at 6 am with your bass pumped up as high as possible and your stupid boom boom songs blasting? AND why is it always the same song?
Dude, I hate you.

To Thumper:
Why do YOU drive down my street at 60 mph with your girlfriend in the middle seat of your pickup truck instead of the passenger seat. Do you really need to be that close ALL the time? And why do you have a giant sticker on your truck that says "Thumper"? It makes no sense and for that, dude, I hate you.

To Old Lady at the DES Office:
Why do they let you answer the phone? You don't know anything and you spew misinformation. Thank goodness I am mean and evil and can retain information from a week ago otherwise I'd be SOL in a serious way. Dude, old lady, I hate you.

To Occasional Postman:
How come you keep putting the wrong mail into our mailbox? This shouldn't be so hard. If you are putting other people's mail into our box, where is OUR mail going? Dude, I hate you.

To Hoover Vacuum Company:
Your vacuum sucks. My floor is dirty, dude, I hate you.

To God of Thunder and Jelly and Jam:
I love you. Just a shout out.

To Friend of Bob's Who Just Won't Stop Calling (you know who you are):
Dude, we hate you.

To Hollywood Television Writers:
Stop striking so I can keep watching new episodes of "The Office"
Dudes, I hate you. Except all "The Office" writers, you rock.


Anonymous said...

Oooh, can I play?

To: Guys who don't remove their 90 poudn weights from the barbells at the gym. Why? If you're so strong you can put it on, why can't you take it off? Does it make you feel superior to watch me squat and struggle to remove two 45-pound weights that are the size of my mid-section? Dudes, I hate you!

People suck, I hate them all. Except you, of course. Probably cuz I don't really know you. =)

Jessica said...

ALmost everyone who knows me totally loves me.
Oh yeah. That's my story.

eaf said...

You seem totally as lovable as me! Totally!

debdills said...

i hate passive aggressive people.
there is a great website devoted to them; I thought you might enjoy: