Thursday, January 08, 2009

Don't look at me like that crazy soy powder lady!

Yesterday while I was waiting in the interminable pharmacy line at WalMart, some lady came over to me and all accusatory and concerned looking said about Dylan...

"What happened to his eye?!?!"

Ok, pause the story...let's say that I did punch him in the face, which is obviously NOT what happened, but for the sake of argument, let's pretend I'm evil.
Would I really confess this to you Soy Powder Lady? (She was looking for soy powder, what? I eavesdrop, I already told you this)
Like I'm going to say "Oh yeah, the kid wouldn't quit mouthing off, so I popped him one."
What are you lady, an amateur social worker? Very annoying.

Resume story

So I say what actually happened..."He punched himself in the eye while jumping on the bed."
Then took a nice long pause while she continued to look concerned and worried.
"It's pretty impressive no?" I said.

She looked at me like I was on fire and then left me alone.

Nosy broad.


Anonymous said...

Actually, if you had popped him, you probably would have 'fessed up. Cuz you'd be that stupid.

Jessica said...

Pregnancy makes you ornery!

But yeah, i see your point, If I was stupid enough to punch my kid in the eye, I probably WOULD be stupid enough to tell people about it.

Jason said...

You should have let him tell her what happened in his own words. It'd be more interesting to hear his version.

Anonymous said...

I am serious. I was in court once for a domestic violence protective order once. My client said her boyfriend smacked her with a wooden paddle. The judge asked to hear him, and the guy starts explaining *why* he'd hit her. The judge looked at him with a look of shock and said, "You don't deny you hit her with the paddle?" And the guy says "No" and keeps talking.

Jessica said...

Part of me is glad that wife beaters are so dumb.

eaf said...

I would have said that he walked into a door. Then fell down the stairs.

And yes... it IS impressive. Quite the shiner.