I am so tired

Since the baby is still not sleeping through the night I figure that I also haven't slept through the night in 4.5 months. That's roughly 135 nights. Consecutively.
Add to that all the nights in the third trimester of pregnancy that I couldn't get comfortable enough fall asleep or stay asleep and then add to that all the nights with the other two children and I figure I've probably slept all night long exactly 27 times in the last four and a half years.
I'm freaking tired.

You know those cute Suave commercials where the mom is all bedraggled and just using the Suave shampoo makes her come alive. Yeah, no. That's not gonna cut it for me.

Maybe Suave shampoo, plus IV caffeine, plus two weeks at a spa resort (including endless foot massages), plus a coma.
A nice long coma. A long 100 hour coma.
That's a good coma.

I think I'd be nicely refreshed after a good long coma.

Rambling on...and on...

Well, I've done it!
I've reached my first goal of dropping 20 pounds by my three week checkup!! Yahoooooo!!!!

Now the REAL weight loss work will begin. That first 20 pounds was the easy part, the weight of the actual baby himself and the reduction of the preggo swelling.

Though, that 20 pounds is nothing to sneeze at. Lots of postpartum gals find it hard to budge one pound off their butts after having a baby. I think the multiple insane children I'm herding around plus the endless daily chores have helped me to quickly reduce my weight.
Like I said before, I'm not exactly restricting my diet as I'm nursing and that is ill-advised. I need 500 more calories per day over my pre-pregnancy diet, which was ridiculously restricted. That said, I don't count calories either. I merely take note of caloric content and hope my guilt will guide me to the celery.
Did you know, for instance that there are almost 200 calories in 40 shelled roasted peanuts. An interesting fun fact for you.
Isn't it also funny that "shelled" means "unshelled" like flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Weird.

Anyway.
My major life change during Operation New Hotness is working out. Every day. EVERY EVERY DAY. Moving my butt around every day.
Totally doable.
Especially on days when I'm literally single-handedly propelling a metal shopping cart loaded with 70 pounds of children and additional poundage of groceries WHILE simultaneously carrying another 8 pounds of child. That's a killer workout. Great for the abs. I joke. Great for the lats.

I have my silly Gazelle set up in my room, it's like walking with no impact. Great! I Gazelled for a half hour this morning.

When Law and Order comes on later, I'll probably do another half hour, during the Order part, which I consider to be the part where the cops are investigating. The Law portion is the part in the courtroom...right?
Ah, who cares, as long as Jesse Martin is in the episode.
Lord have mercy, that man is a tall drink of water.
So what if I'm married and he might be gay, or not. We could make it work!
Just because he was gay in "Rent" that doesn't mean anything...

Wow. I'm way off track...

In additional child and family news, we had a not great night last night. First off, the kitties killed something that we can't find. All I heard was high-pitched squeaking. Bob went to investigate and there were no kitties and no carcasses. He thinks they brought their "friend" outside to finish off. I hope so!
There is also a small lizard living under my computer hutch. He came out yesterday afternoon, briefly, then ran back underneath.
Hopefully, he'll be discovered soon and disposed of, otherwise I'll have to move furniture to remove him.

Midway through the night, Dylan woke up crying and screaming. I was up with the baby so Bob had to go calm Dylan down, which happened pretty quickly.
However, a few hours later Dylan was up again and roaming the house. Bob again had to intervene, this time a bit less happily.
Then Benjamin started fussing. By that point, Bob had a pillow and a comforter over his head. Poor dear.
I haven't slept through the night for over three weeks though, so Bob can sort of suck an egg on this one. I can't feel sorry for his one night of constant interruptions, I just can't work it up.

I've got to put a sleeping baby back into his bed now. He likes to hang out with me while I blog. I think the typing relaxes him.
Later.

what was I going to say???

I've got 12 days until the baby is out of me! Yay!
I'm exhausted.
EX-HAUSTED!
Not that it will get much better after he's born, but at least my mom will be here! And I fully plan to sleep in the hospital as much as I can.
This little baby is sapping all my energy and then using it to kick out a jam on my kidneys. STOP IT BABY!

The last three days have been the worst.
I usually find myself tired by 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Today I am already tired, and it is just 10:30 in the morning.
I only just woke up three hours ago and I'm already falling asleep here. This is not good.

I read this passage from an article on Dr. Spock's website. Not MR. Spock. Doctor.

If you have other children, it can be hard to make time to rest. Try to lie down at the same time your other children are napping. If they don't nap, try telling them it is quiet time and Mommy needs to rest.

Oh my goodness I about died laughing, but I was too tired to laugh.
Telling MY ANGELS that "mommy needs to rest" is ill-advised. They would interpret that as the signal from on-high to destroy, destroy, destroy!!! Or worse yet, escape! Dylan pulled off a fantastic escape yesterday. I wasn't even sleeping. He's good. Elizabeth came running in from the front deck (which I THOUGHT was gated off) yelling "Dylan went down the stairs!!!"
I found him about 40 feet away, just wandering around clad in only a diaper, SpongeBob shoes and a guilty face. I have no idea how he ungated the stairs.
Are you reading this Meredith?? :)

Anyway, normal late pregnancy fatigue aside, I've also run out of coffee, which is HORRIBLE! TERRIBLE!!! Truly unthinkable. It's heinous.
This delicious drink was the only thing keeping me awake for the last nine months. I have had zero coffee for the last three days. It's starting to hurt.
Not that I drink SO MUCH coffee, but dang, I need at least one good cup to get going. Maybe two.
Cutting down to zero is not working for me.
I'm not supposed to go into town until tomorrow, but I might have to make the trip today JUST to buy coffee. I can't live like this!
Seriously. I'm about to eat the coffee grounds from three days ago. Or attempt to re-brew them. It's bad. It's real bad.
I have to shake this off. I have things to do and remember and clean and..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In other news:
You'd think I'd have have tons of gray hair, with my children conspiring against me constantly, but no. I checked. No gray hair, yet.
I'm sure the TWO boys will get to work on that ASAP, STAT. Check. Done.

I can't keep my eyes open much longer. For real. I'm going to have to tie the children to something and take a nap.

Here he IS!

It's Sawyer!