Maybe I am getting too old to go to the bars. I mean, this weekend I went out with my sister in law and my OTHER sister in law's sister and her boyfriend...very complicated.
Anyway, the boyfriend ends up almost getting into it with these FOUR dudes over - of all things to fight about - a POOL TABLE!! As in, who would be playing pool us or them. So, that was lame.
When we finally left those dudes didn't even PLAY POOL ON THE TABLE! Fucking bitches, just looking to start trouble.
So after that fun time, I get home and fall asleep. It's like 2:30 am, I wake up at 7:30 to look after the baby because Bob has to work ON A SUNDAY! Much to my surprise, I have no voice. I completely lost my voice. Not even a peep. So, that's fun.
Not only that, but I step on a Guardian Angel pin and put a giant hole in my foot...the upside, no scream, just a sad little squeak.
Much to Bob's delight, I'm sure, I am still voiceless. All the lozenges in the world and more tea than I'd normally care to drink have had no effect.
Good times.
Good times.
4 comments:
Oh darling. You are getting old. I remember a time when you got us kicked out of G Street for picking a fight with a much larger man over a ... wait for it ... pool table! Specifically (drumroll, please) over who got to play on said pool table. Ah, J-momma. You really are a momma now. But hey, at least you have a nice new bathroom and kitchen floor, grandma.
I am afraid you are sadly misrepresenting that event.
That guy, first of all, was a tiny tiny man. I could have taken him.
Second of all, the fight was not over whose table it was, but that I did not want to PLAY pool anymore and that dude was telling me that I HAD TO, because he was the "owner" of the place. Yeah, I don't take kindly to freaky people trying to tell me what to do, or what I have to do, this is AMERICA dammit! And I am free to play pool or not play pool whenever I want to, or don't want to! I totally didn't pick that fight, that creepy little man did.
But yeah, I was hecka drunk that time and I didn't get KICKED OUT, I was firmly asked to leave...which I did, happily.
I'm also still full of piss and vinegar as I spent a lot of time last Saturday yelling at the damn bitches who tried to steal our pool table before I DECIDED to leave...noone kicks out J-Momma.
hmmm. I guess all the drinking I've been doing really *did* kill brain cells. Silly me. You're a much better alcoholic than I, J-momma. The grandmomma of them all.
GRANDmomma...uh, I'm not even two years older than you!
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