Thursday, December 08, 2005

Celeb Make Up/Break Up

Successorexia victim Nicole Richie and her record spinning fiance Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein have called it quits
I have to admit I was shocked to see this. But looking at that picture, it seems like they were always destined to split. She's caviar, he's fish eggs.

Another shocker.
My rap star love Mr. Mathers, aka Eminem, says he's getting back together with crackhead ex-wife Kim "Bleed bitch bleed" Mathers, she of the ridiculous lip liner.
Say it ain't so Marshall.

Another shocker, but for a different reason...
My FIRST rock love Eddie Van Halen and his wife Valerie Bertinelli are divorcing

This is only shocking, because I was pretty sure that they were already divorced. But no. I was mistaken.


Amy said...

I think it was a misunderstanding. I think Mr. DJ just thought she left him because he can't see her anymore, on account of her being so skinny. After a meal or two, she'll fatten up, he'll notice her sitting on his lap, and all will be well with the world again.

cube said...

Frankly, I can't believe Valerie put up with Van Halen for as long as she did.

Jessey said...

Amy - Laugh out loud funny. And yes, that may indeed be the case! She turned sideways and WHOOP disappeared.

Cube - As a long time aficionado of both Valerie and Eddie, I concur. She weathered quite a storm there, and I'm not just talking about Sammy Hagar.

Amy said...

Wait, and also about her being so skinny. I read in an interview last week that she said she lost lots of weight going through rehab. That's it's not an eating disorder. I am not a rehab expert, but I always thought that people worry that kicking the habit will make them fat, not turn them into a walking toothpick. She is an enigma!

Jessey said...

Hmmm, as a Nicole Richie expert, let me chime in.
Amy, you've got it half-right.
She said she was always a skinny twig, but we didn't know her then.
THEN she got addicted to drugs (heroin, allegedly) and had to kick the habit, thus a stint in "rehab" which for the celebs and the rich may well be like a spa month.
Anyway, she said she piled ON the tonnage while she was IN rehab, and off the drugs.
Then she did the show with Paris and became ***NICOLE***
And then she got all scary skinny again, like a praying mantis. If her narrative is to be believed, one can reasonably assume that she is back ON the drugs since she is clearly reverted to her pre-rehab size...or maybe she's just compensating for not being Paris.