Friday, April 27, 2007

Mr. Mom?

Last night I went out for karaoke. There was a contest, I didn't win.
But I did rock the heck out of "Sweet Child of Mine" after my big loss. ROCKED IT. The kickass Guns and Roses version, not the lame Sheryl Crow version.
I totally should have won.


I left the house and my children in the care of my husband Bob. Eek.
Honestly, Andrea I'm talking to you, how did you go out of town for FOUR DAYS and come back to a home WITH a roof AND a floor? How? You'll have to teach me that trick.

I got home LAAATE last night and went right to bed. When I woke up, Bob had already left for work.
I toured the damage.

CD and video cases all over the house - on counters, on the floors, everywhere.
Plates with crusty food on them all over the house - one was upside down on the carpet covered up by a Dora bean bag chair right next to...
A sippy cup filled with cranberry Crystal Light turned upside down and leaking out a giant red puddle on a plastic step stool hidden behind the couch, I kid you not.
And the shoes! My god the shoes!

Even though Elizabeth is a little informant snitch and fessed up almost immediately upon waking that she'd had two pink Otter Pops for dinner, Dylan had one and Daddy had THREE! she really didn't need to tell me. I knew about it from the tiny pieces of Otter Pop plastic wrapper snips all over the kitchen and the rest of the wrappers gathered by the TV like used condoms circling a full trashcan in a whorehouse.

Oh, and I almost forgot.
The rug in the family room was covered in shredded cheddar cheese.
I have no idea why. I'm still puzzling that one out.


Anonymous said...

Well, seeing as how on Wednesday night I was eating shredded taco cheese directly from the ziploc bag it came in, I can attest to the fact that it's not as easy as you'd think to eat that cheese. It doesn't ball up very well, and the bag doesn't open wide, so you end up with lots of cheese falling all over the place.

Jessica said...

Seeing as how my daughter has a similar affinity for shredded cheese and seems to think it tastes better when you eat it right out of the bag, she IS my main suspect in the cheesing of the floor incident.

Andrea said...

That's funny, I was out singing karaoke last night too. Alas, our group was nowhere near winning an award. But we had way more fun than anyone else there. Jenny from the Block was a bomb, but everyone loved Where is the love? by the Black Eyed Peas. And we rocked Seasons of Love.
Regarding leaving the house in the care of my husband, when I returned I told him how impressed I was with how clean the house was and how well he did. And you know what he said to me? "Well, its not that hard if you have nothing else to do." Hmm, guess I'll be taking vacations by myself A LOT more frequently then.