Open Letter to the Marketing Department

Dear Marketing Department, yes, all of them...

Thanks for putting SpongeBob on every conceivable item in the grocery store.
I thought I could avoid a full-scale tantrum from my SpongeBob obsessed child merely by avoiding the fruit snack/cereal aisle, but no. You win again!
Who knew we needed SpongeBob macaroni, SpongeBob yogurt, SpongeBob cheese, SpongeBob chips, lunchmeat, candy, juice, butter, grapefruit, bread, tampons...
Some of those are not real, yet.

You better get started on the SpongeBob branded hard liquor because I'm going to need a few shots of Krusty Krab Vodka just to navigate the Safeway if you keep packing it full of that *delightful* yellow sea creature.

SpongeBob Chardonnay would be nice too, with seafood.

Sincerely,
A Goofy Goober's Mom