1. Hey! Ford F-150 guy! Nice ball cap. Look. Why do you insist on inching your vehicle farther and farther into the intersection when the light is red. WHY? Eventually, that light will turn green. I swear. You don't have to trigger it by rolling your car three feet past the crosswalk line. I know, you're surprised. You thought you controlled the whole world, including traffic signals. But I can assure you sir, that you do not.
2. Texting while driving...why? Seriously. Unless you are texting the formula to a serum that will instantly cure AIDS, cancer and obesity all at once...like, wait, maybe?
IDK, May-B UR not as cool as U think. May-b, we all don't need 2 know UR thoughts the moment U have them. LOL.
3. "Non-Partisan" Nancy Pelosi. Please.
4. Guy in the Safeway parking lot with the kid who kept running into traffic. Yeah, hi. Just a tip. Put the KID in the car first! Then unload the groceries and chat with your firefighter buddies. I'm not SURE, but I think it will work.
5. Why does the baby always spit out his VERY IMPORTANT binky in the parking lot and then WHY does it always roll under a car.
AND - related question...how many pacifiers are swept up from parking lots every year...I'm thinking 2.6 million. Just extrapolating from my ONE child and how many HE has lost in this manner.
6. Why does the pharmacy take so long? Pills. Bottle. Done.
Especially for us today...when we got antibiotics. Which they make you wait an hour and half before you can pick it up, then they MIX IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Seriously. 90 minutes? That took 90 seconds. I watched you.
7. I know they are stupid chicks in the first place, obviously, but WHY in hell do the girlfriends from Tool Academy on VH-1 stay with their tool boyfriends after they get kicked out for being so tooly? Props to the ONE chick so far who bailed on her loser dude.
8. Wax Statue Museums.
9. The continuing supposed appeal of Bret Michaels.
10. Why my darling 3 year old son flat out refuses to poop in the potty. WHY GOD WHY!