Monday, February 02, 2009

I'm about to pull a Kelly Kapoor


No. I'm not going to go on and on about how awesome Netflix is...though it is pretty awesome...I mean...no late fees??! That's pretty rad...

Oh, anyway...

I'm just really upset about this whole Jessica Simpson is fat business. Seriously. It's insane.
She's not fat. Not even close!
That is a terrible horrible outfit, but she is not fat.
Does she weigh more than she did when she did the Dukes of Hazzard and got herself down to skin and bones by being (let's be frank) anorexic? Yes she does. But is she fat? No way in hell! No way!
She's a girl on the short side. High waisted jeans on a shortie? No. And she shouldn't be cutting her body into pieces like that with that giant hideous belt. It makes her look stumpy but underneath that terrible outfit, I guarantee you, that bitch's body is still banging.





And this upsets me so much because to paraphrase Kelly Kapoor....
"Because if you are saying Jessica Simpson isn't hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I am not as hot as Jessica Simpson!"

8 comments:

Maribeth said...

Love it. When I first saw the pic (before the uproar) I thought, "What a horrible outfit. What was she thinking?!?!".
I think she needs to fire her stylist.

Anonymous said...

Nobody could look skinny in that outfit. NOBODY. (Those clothes should be burned.) I would take Jessica's bod in a second.
Still living with the post-pregnancybelly flab... blech
Joan

Jessica said...

Exactly! Those clothes are terrible! They need to be shredded, burned, buried and forgotten!

Andrea said...

So with you on this one! Horrible style choice, yes. Fatty, no.

Amy said...

And then when she loses it all again, they'll say she's too skinny. They just can't win. You have to be like Kate Winslet - "yes, I'm curvy and not a stick, what is your point?" Not that many people are strong enough to say that in every day life, let alone when you're plastered everywhere!

Tigerlilly said...

They just cant make up their minds... too fat... too skinny. I think she looks happy and healthy, so what if she cant fit into a size -00 anymore, she is still a hotty in a size 8? !!!

Jessica said...

In the exact same issue of US Weekly that has "Jumbo Jessica" on the cover....which, ugh to begin with....
Inside the issue there is a pic of Tori Spelling (who was ALWAYS a twig) looking all skinny and twiggy after having had her second baby last year. And OF COURSE, they criticize her for looking too thin.
Sigh.

Peppa said...

She is sooo fat. How gross. Get of the stage, piggy!

Okay, that was my attempt at being a jerko-matic.

I think this whole thing is crazy. She should definitely be taunted and ridiculed for a horrible outfit, but in regard to weight, I think she weighs less than my left thigh.

This crud makes me sooo angry, because the message is horrific for young girls.

I agree w/ you pulling a Kelly Kapoor. I just hope J-Simpy (or her publicist) can come up with a statement that rocks, because something needs to be said about this lameness.

And that's my diatribe on J-Simp's weight controversy.