Thursday, April 30, 2009


I've allowed myself time to cool down before writing this post.
I needed it.

Insert thanks here to my awesome MP3 player, stocked with great songs. No pun intended, it was instrumental in my ability to chill out after this crap day.

I made an appointment with my regular doctor to get a referral to a specialist (nothing life serious, so don't worry). This is a two to three minute appointment.
I say, "I want a referral to the blah blah doctor for blah blah" and regular doctor directs his staff to send an official referral letter to Dr. Blah Blah.
Seriously. This appointment was a no-brainer, an easy one.

Ha ha!

I forgot that my primary doctor was a fucking schmuck (sorry! Language alert in effect for the rest of this post)

Worse than a schmuck, he's a douchebag.

My appointment (which I scheduled two days ago) was set for 3:15 pm today. I left the house in plenty of time to get there early. Oh no! Wait!
I drive up to where the doc's office is...oh shit! It's all vacant! Fuck!
Luckily I had charged my Tracfone. But the number I had for the doc was old and out of service. I called the local chamber of commerce. The very nice man who answered gave me the number for the local hospital. I called there and got the number for my schmuck doctor.

SO I called the doc's office, found out where they were ACTUALLY located and made my way over there. With Ben, by the way.

I arrive at the office. I check in, pay my co-pay. I ask the girl "How long is the wait?" She lies to me and says "one hour"

I take my place among the damned.

There was a gal and her husband who had a baby about Ben's age AND a month old. Crazy people. At least they admitted their insanity.
Anyway. When I sat down at 3:30 they had already been waiting an hour. Their appointment was at 2:30....there were AT LEAST three people ahead of them.


I waited close to the hour the liar bitch promised when some random person entered the office, asked to see the doctor and lo and behold the doc appeared.

He left patients in exam rooms and in the waiting room to GIVE HIS FRIEND A TOUR OF THE NEW OFFICE!! Which incidentally is somehow also a tanning salon.....clue #1 of my desperate need to get a new doctor.

We pass the hour mark. I've now waited for an HOUR for an appointment for a REFERRAL.

I go tell the gal at the front, "Look I just need a referral, I don't need to wait three hours for it!"

"That's not how it works," she said. "It's not that easy."

"Oh, it could be that easy. It's just a fax or whatever. I don't need to be here for hours for it."

I swear the bitches laughed while the doctor was outside CHATTING with his friend. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Then one of the bitches said, I swear! "We can't do that. Then he'd do all this work and get nothing for it."


I was fucking pissed by then.

"You know what, forget it," I said. "I'll just leave."

"Are you sure?" the stupid girl said.

"Yeah I'm sure. I'll just get another doctor," I said.

That's just what I did when I got home. I called my plan to change PCPs. Turns out, this schmuck wasn't even my PCP anymore. WHAT????
What the hell ever!

I filed a formal grievance against him anyway. Those business practices are just flat out unacceptable.

I still might go back and kick him in the nuts for being such a douchebag.


Melissa Gephart said...

I once changed doctors for the SAME REASON - a doctor left me sitting in a waiting room for almost 3 hours for a scheduled appointment with a 2 month old and a 13 month old. Where do they get off thinking their time is more valuable than ours? Oh, Mr. Medical Man - try dealing with a newborn and a toddler at the same time and tell me YOUR job is rough!

Jessica said...

Dave has a horrible doctor he hates too, and he finally just changed doctors THIS WEEK after years of condescending rudeness, so good for both of you for switching!

Jessica said...

Perhaps if this doctor was like the GREATEST doctor ever or looked like Paul Walker, I'd be willing to wait hours for a sliver of his time. But no. He is no Dr. House and he is DEFINITELY no Paul Walker.

Kenna said...

Are there any good PCP's up here? Really???

Jessica said...

The one who I will go to now has similar issues, so I guess no.

However, I really love our pediatrician. I wish I could see HIM instead of these other schmucks.

Denise said...

LOL funny in a I feel for you kinda way... seriously. I feel for you. Referrals should only require a phone call if you are already established with your physician. Ugh!

pstvnrgy said...

"I take my place among the damned."

Very funny :)

Jessica said...

I hereby make it a rule that I shall never go to a doctor who has a giant TV in the waiting room on which he plays actual full length movies.
That's just letting the "you're gonna be here for a freaking long while" cat out of the bag.
The only bigger giveaway is if they passed around hors d'ouerves and hot lemony towels.