There are many things I can roll with....
A loud ass barking dog roaming my neighborhood and choosing to set up shop in my front yard this morning at 4:50 am is NOT one of those things.
SHUT THE EFF UP LOUD ASS DOG!
If you're reading this, you damn dirty barking monstrosity, let this be your fair warning that next time you come over here barking like that I'm gonna turn the hose on you. And if that doesn't work, I'm throwing shoes. And if THAT doesn't work I'll enroll you in Charm School with Ricki Lake, because seriously, Barking Dog, you need that kind of help. Bitch.