Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Mixed Emotions

As we are getting ready to embark on this new adventure in our lives, I've been experiencing a flood of emotions. Happiness, sadness, relief, stress, excitement, trepidation...you name it, I've felt it.

Yesterday I took a walk around my neighborhood...which in our rural area was really more of a hike. Walking through the area made me remember why we decided to move to Arizona in the first place. The smell of the pine trees on a hot day, the big blue skies, the wide open spaces. These are all things I'll definitely miss.

Today I had to take the kids to a dentist appointment. A 40 minute long cleaning appointment. It took me a half hour to get there and a half hour to get back home. It took more time just getting there and back than the length of the actual appointment. THAT I will not miss. I will not miss rutted country roads and a 15 minute drive to the grocery store or six months of snowy driving.

I'm upset that even though we were planning to make this move anyway, now we're being rushed. I'm upset that there's a clock ticking on selling the house and if we can't do it, we'll get a black mark on our credit...to join all the others....

I'm upset that we'll have to pull the kids out of school, just as they were getting settled, and move them to another state. Even though I know kids adapt easily, it's really not a theory I was interested in testing right now.

And at the same time I realize that this move will offer the kids more opportunities to do, experience and learn. My mom has already talked about getting the kids signed up for classes and sports and activities. We'll be within walking distance of my childhood park, the library, the movie theatre and perhaps most importantly Ben & Jerry's!

The summer weeks that we spend in Simi are always some of the happiest times of our year. Not ONLY because of my mom's pool either! The kids get to get out of the house, out of our isolated neighborhood and do the normal childhood things like ride bikes in the driveway and walk to the park.

While I'm really sad that it's all coming down this way, I'm also glad that we do have some place to go from here. A nicer place, a better place.


Jessica said...

Will you be staying with your mom? Do you plan on staying in Simi long-term? I do always like going back there. There's just something about where you grew up that is very comforting.

Anonymous said...

I think it sucks when there are goods and bads to a situation. It keeps you from being entirely happy about it, but at the same time keeps you from being able to totally mope.

And I bet Elizabeth will love all the attention she will get as the new kid.

Jason said...

I don't know if Bernie and I told you, but after we got engaged, I lost my job in Raleigh and had to sell my house and move in with my parents in Charlotte. I immediately got a job in Charlotte, but Bernie and I had to live with my parents for about a year after we got married while we had our house built, so I understand what you're going through. Think of it as a really long vacation and an opportunity for a clean start.