Friday, January 29, 2010
He's unable to defend himself against all the scurrilous accusations.
Whenever a mess has been made, "It was Benny!"
Whenever the dog food gets into the water bowl, "Benny did that!"
Whenever we find a trail of ranch dressing leading from the kitchen table to the bathroom and back, "I told Benny not to dip his feet in the ranch!"
Today he's been charged and convicted of check theft. Just like that. Blam! Law and Order, judged and sentenced.
It didn't even take the full hour.
Apparently my mom ordered her new checks in December and they supposedly arrived in December and were put away in a drawer in the office/computer lab/playroom/cartoon viewing station.
That particular drawer is a treasure trove to my little toddler. He enjoys opening it up and pulling out all manner of delights like an old camera case, paper clips, blank thank you cards and pens from the hair salon my mom frequents.
These items are then rearranged all over the house in attractive piles. It's sort of like guerrilla public art.
Now, I don't recall the checks arriving in the mail, nor have I seen a giant envelope of checks in that particular drawer when I return Ben's "installations" to storage.
Nevertheless, the checks are nowhere to be found and the poor child is the most likely suspect. Since his current vocabulary is limited he can't offer up an alternative scenario to explain this terrible crime, and thus he is guilty! Guilty!
Poor kid's not even 2 and he already has a rap sheet.