Last night, like every other night, Ben went to bed with his sippy cup.
First, DON'T START the "he's gonna get cavities from drinking milk in bed" lecture on me. If he DOESN'T go to bed with a sippy cup, he doesn't go to sleep he just lies there and wails. I think it's significantly worse to have a horribly sleep-deprived child (and mother) than to possibly incur cavities in teeth that we are planning on losing in three to five years anyway.
Last night, like every other night, Ben went to bed with his sippy cup full of Pepsi. I kid. It was full of milk.
Because he is MY child, he is emminently picky and will not settle for anything less than what he really and truly NEEDS. Also like me, "want" is not a real word. If something is desired, it is neeeeeded. With all those e's. Deep down in the blood NEEEEEEDED.
Benny hates the sippy cups with the one-piece solid plastic lids. He NEEEEEDS a sippy cup with the silicone lid insert, aka, the sippy nipple. I think it's because he likes to chew on the nipple as evidenced by the numerous sippy nipples that have had to go to their great reward with giant gaping holes chewed into the sides of them. But that compulsion is a matter for his future wife and therapist to work on. Moving on...
Last night, like every other night, Ben went to bed with his slightly less chewed than the others sippy cup full of milk. He fell asleep quickly. Smiles abounded in the kingdom.
This morning he woke up unusually late and with an unusual cry of alarm. It is far more typical for him to wake up early and blabber to himself in the darkness for a half hour before winding up the screeching.
When he began this particular day with an immediate call to arms, I knew something was off. Would it be a bed full of puke? Been there done that. Would it be a diaper overflowing with baby poo? Puhlease, I'm not even scared! Would it be a giant invisible monster with a forked tongue? More likely a Goomba toy and he already knows how to fend one of those off.
Besides, why would I waste alllll that time on his sippy cup preferences if he was merely scared of the dark?
In reality, it was none of those things.
I reached his room while he was breaking forth with a new and more urgent keening.
I peered into his crib (yes crib) expecting the worst -- one of the above scenarios or perhaps something new and horrifying that I have yet to experience.
But he was just sitting there in his crib. Not covered in puke. Not oozing with crap. Not bloodied from battle with imaginary forces. Hmm.
He handed me a plastic ring.
It was the ring that usually holds his beloved sippy nipple.
There was no nipple.
I took a closer look into the crib.
Benny was holding the cup portion of the cup. It was half full of milk. There was no lid on it. At all.
I took the cup away. I checked the baby for signs of being covered in spilled milk. None.
The crib sheets were also dry. Perplexing.
I changed Ben and brought him and his mysteriously opened sippy cup downstairs.
Cereal was poured. I gave Ben a fresh sippy cup of milk, making sure it was shut all the way.
While he munched his breakfast, I took the mysterious sippy cup to the sink and emptied the milk down the drain. As the milk poured out I could feel an unusual heaviness inside the cup. I looked inside, expecting to find some sort of congealed milk product. Nothing new there.
To my surprise, instead of some new form of cheese I found the missing sippy nipple.
Apparently, he had pushed the nipple INTO the cup at some point then unscrewed the cap.
Don't ask me how he did it. Don't ask me how he did it without tipping the cup over and spilling milk all over his bed.
Obviously, he's some sort of wizard.