She is SEVEN!

On the way to school today:

E: Mom, I have hairy legs.

Me: So, hairy legs keep you warm. Like Sasquatch.

E: No!

Me: Yeah. Just like Sasquatch.

E: No! Sasquatch has long hair everywhere. Like long-sleeved hair. I just have little tiny hairs.

Me: Oh! Good! Then don't worry about it.

(Long pause during which I think the subject is dropped)

E: I wanna shave my legs.

Me: Are you crazy??!?! No way!! You are SEVEN!

Notes from a Baby Shower

The whole clan, Bob included, went to his little brother's girlfriend's baby shower this afternoon...

One of the games we played was the "identify the melted chocolate candy in the diaper" game.
First off, ew!
Melted Snickers totally looks like poo! I may never eat Snickers again!
Ok, I will. But not out of a diaper!

Secondly, diapers are SUPER chemically!! I'm really glad that we use cloth. It was really gross. I could barely tell if I was eating Milky Way or Three Muskateers because everything tasted like diaper chemicals. Yuck.

But here's the real story...

For most of the game Dylan was off running around and riding a scooter. He wasn't paying attention to us in the slightest nor did he realize that everyone was tasting candy from diapers.

When he finally came over to our table Bob showed him the Milky Way diaper and said, "Hey Dylan! Look at this!"

"(Insert sound of fake puking here)", Dylan said.
"Watch this Dylan!" Bob said, grabbing a spoon. "You want Daddy to eat the poo?"

"NO! NO NO NO!" Dylan screamed. He freaked out and started covering his face in horror.

Bob spooned up some "poo" and raised the spoon to his lips.
Dylan starting yelling, "No no no!" and had a mini-stroke.
Bob ate the "poo"!
Dylan trembled and his face screwed up in disgust and he ran away in such a horrible fright yelling...
"I can't like that! I can't like that!!"

It was so damn funny, we did it three more times.




PS: I totally tanked the chocolate poo game but won the "What flavor baby food is this?" game hands down. You can't whip a mother of three in that game. It wasn't even hard. I did half the list by sight alone. Cake-walk.

Stresssssssssssssssssss

All this living is really taking its toll on me.
Stressing out babies, stressing out.

Last night I could NOT get to sleep at all. I tossed and turned for awhile in bed. Then got up and read Time Magazine. Then watched the Gauntlet III reunion show on MTV. Then watched "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" until almost 3 am on the couch. That show makes me feel simultaneously better about my life and totally inadequate and whiney.
Then I tossed and turned some more before I finally passed out in bed.
What was on my mind? Absolutely nothing. Just couldn't get to that tipping point of actually falling asleep.

I forgot the kids' TB test appointment at the county. Totally forgot.
Maybe I secretly don't want to know. Gotta reschedule that....

We've got a stack of bills sitting here, waiting to get paid...yeah...I'm slacking on that.

I haven't made dinner for these people who live with me since Easter Sunday when I made a ham and it was snubbed by the little people. I guess I felt subconciously (or conciously) offended and decided they could go fend for themselves.
Monday night we had a pizza. Tuesday I had a salad and the kids ate 50 yogurts all afternoon so they weren't hungry at all for dinner. Bob was though...he was mad.
Last night they all had a giant plate of chicken nuggets and I ate some of the leftover ham. It was good.
Tonight I am making a turkey. Maybe I can only pull off big giant meals lately? Who knows. I'm going crazy.

The baby is big enough now that EVERY move is rearranging my internal organs but still small enough that he's not cramped up in there yet. So he's swimming from stern to bow, so to speak, and making me queasy and uneasy. So sorry Chikezie.

On top of that I've got a raging sinus infection that migrated into my chest, giving me a lovely hacking cough that is OH SO PAINFUL.
Everytime I cough not only does it burn in my chest, but it also pulls every stretched out ligament surrounding my uterus which burns!!!!!!!!!! and SEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! and makes me want to cry. Sometimes I do.

Luckily I've taken a step back from my online custom item sales. Meaning, I'm not really selling to order anymore. You can't have it YOUR way at my BK Lounge anymore.
I'm only selling what I've already got made. So there. Take that.

I've only got one big order to finish and I have about three weeks to finish it up. I should be done by Sunday. Whoo! Nice and no pressure.
Then I have to make a charity raffle item and I'm done with my list of Things To Make for Store. Yay!
I actually just listed a bunch of new stuff, so if you're at all interested in anything cool you should at least go check it out. Preferably all at once, so I seem like a big deal. How about 1:37 pm exactly? Great! It's a date.

I still have to print out, sign and mail in our stupid federal tax form. Though, they already sent us our refund. How EXACTLY does that work? Where's my motivation?
I'll get to that. I just have to disconnect the internet from the computer that works, hook it up to the one that sort of works but has the printer software attached to it, then print out the form really fast before the computer that sort of works dies. Should take around 15 minutes. Just can't get myself to go there, yet.

Whatsoever I can safely pass off to Bob, I have done so. Bob = He who is in charge of driving around town and paying bills...All of our utilities are now local businesses so that's awesome...OH, except the aforementioned bullsh water bill...that's a horse of an entirely different color.

Bob is also in charge of turning in our health insurance paperwork and buying toilet paper. He is GREAT at that. I bought some milk at the Dollar General the other day and got a little rap on the knuckles for not checking the expiration date. March 22. On milk I bought on March 24. Eep.
So he can be in charge of milk purchases from now on as well.

At least I finally caught up on laundry yesterday! Whooo hooo! At least I don't have SIX Dylans trying to jump out windows and reverse climb trees (that means fall out of them) and rummaging through the fridge for the Sno-Cone juice which he would like to drink straight. Ew. And it's blue! Nice and tidy.

I think I'm done complaining now.
Yeah.
I'm done.