Tuesday, October 18, 2005

They say God wouldn't give you more than you can handle...

And I now officially think that is a load of crap. Sorry G-O-D.
You're not going to BELIEVE this one, though, since you do read this blog of trials and tribulations, you probably will just say, oh yeah, that sounds about right for a Tuesday.
So, I am sitting here in my house working, and this sonofabitch Amerigas (aka Evil) truck pulls up into my neighbor's driveway right by our propane tank, and I'm like great, they're gonna finally move the gas into our new tank and we'll be free!
But no. Nuh uh.
I go out and see the truck and it's not a gas tank truck. So I tell the guy, "hey, you can't take the tank until the gas is moved into the new tank."
And he says he doesn't have the right truck to do that and just keeps on getting the stuff ready to pull out this tank. So I tell the guy again that his company agreed not to remove the tank until the gas is moved and he said he didn't know anything about that and just keeps on trying to hook up the tank.
Looooong story, and a lot of cussing, short - this guy won't listen to me and he won't stop trying to hook up the tank. He just says he doesn't know anything about what I'm telling him so I have to GET UP ON TOP OF THE TANK so he can't take it.
I tell him, the only way he's taking that tank away is with me on top of it.
And WHILE I'm sitting on there (in my PAJAMAS!) he's STILL hooking it up, like he thinks I am just going to change my mind!?!
So I unhook his wires from the tank and by this point I'm just screaming at him, obscenity this, sonofabitch that. I'm still sitting on a goddamn 250 gallon propane tank by the way. Pregnant. In my pink pajamas.
Finally he relents, probably because I told him if he wanted to take the tank he'd need to call the sheriff out to my house and I then offered to call them myself. So he unhooks the shit and finally leaves, meanwhile I'm still sitting up there looking like, I'm sure, a total loon. Then it starts raining on me, so I went inside.
So now I'm all worked up and can't leave the house because they'll probably just come right back while I'm gone and steal my propane. I called the Owens (aka Good) people and they said they were trying to get a hold of the manager of the evil company to come pump the gas into our new tank, but who KNOWS when that will happen. Today, tomorrow, February. And who knows how many more times they'll send this fat pasty man out to steal my gas in the interim? Today's attempt makes TWO.
Meanwhile, I'm stressing. I can't take much more of any of this. I'd like to still be pregnant for my baby shower, so maybe I should try to relax. But it's hard with all this, you know, diabolical shit going on.
I think Bob is going to go down there today and kill someone.
Also, the post office isn't delivering my phone and electric bills for some reason. So I call them, and they say there isn't a problem. To which I reply, oh no, there surely IS a problem because I am not GETTING MY MAIL, which is, really if you think about it, YOUR ONLY JOB IN THE WHOLE WORLD! Just get me my mail OK?
SO yeah, that probably won't get resolved either anytime soon.

I can't really be the only one in the world getting totally hosed this year, right? Surely I am not taking on the pains of the world.


eva said...

WTF? What on earth did you to deserve this hell of a year? I'm surprised you haven't seceded from the union yet. You are living in the backcountry. I'm sure it wouldn't be unheard of to start up a militia. Maybe you can get the Partridge Family of 16 to help?

drogidy said...

Hang in there. The bastards of the world are always looking for somebody to pick on, and this week/month/year its you. You did right to scream at that guy, it seems to be the only language they understand.

Jessey said...

I never thought of recruiting the Arkansas prairie folk to join my new country. I think I'll call it Getthehelloffmylandia.

cube said...

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. We all have stuff dumped onto our plates that we'd rather not have. But drogidy is right, hang in there. This too shall pass.

Jessey said...

It's cool. I'm having fun.
Someday this will have to end. My mom promised me a trouble-free existence until Valentine's Day. I don't know how she's going to pull that off, but I can't WAIT!

cube said...

I try to look on the bright side, myself, but it's hard sometimes, especially now with this hurricane breathing down my neck. Hurry up & wait is a frustrating state to be in...kinda like Florida (hee hee).