Thursday, January 19, 2006


Some recent vignettes from my life as mother of two.
(Caution: these stories involve tales of post-partum happenings and thus involve bodily fluids. If this makes you squeamish, discontinue reading ASAP. I however, am not ashamed of these stories, mostly because I've given up dignity as a daily practice since having baby no. 2 - aka Dylan.)

Dylan sleeps sometimes in his bouncer seat. When he does this, I take Elizabeth into the bathroom with me to a) keep him safe from her attacks on the bouncer seat and b) allow me to pee without totally freaking out every second that she's poking out his eyes or fish hooking him, again.

Anyway. I take her into the bathroom with me the other day and she, being so observant, notices that my sanitary pad is a tad bloody.

Elizabeth: Poopy!
Me: No honey, that's blood.
Elizabeth: Bah-ludd
Me: Right.

So I change the pad, and she, the little comedian she is, comes up with another stunning observation.

Me: (Silently pressing clean pad into giant new mom underpants)
Elizabeth: (Pointing in recognition) Diaper.
Me: Yeah, it does look like a diaper.
Elizabeth: (Nodding her head) Diaper.

Later that night, I'm breastfeeding and Elizabeth comes over, pokes me in the breast and says "Blooby"

Me: It is a boob.
Elizabeth (frantically nodding her head) Bloooooobies.


Freebird said...

Ah, man you weren't kidding! I was expecting boobie leakage, but instead got bah-ludd.

I'm curious, do you keep another journal for your kids about your kids?

Amy said...

Oh I was expecting much worse.

Jessey said...

This is my one and only blog. It's a mix pretty much of what I do all day, which is take care of my kids, read Yahoo News, and watch my favorite TV shows...oh, and work too, just a little bit.

Freebird said...

Amy, that's right, there was a dirty diaper incident about a month ago.

Sometimes I think it may be neat for my kids to have a copy of my blog in print (minus a few posts). I think they'd be suprised to find out that their mother is a *real* person with thoughts and feelings that don't revolve around the mundane.

Amy said...

Oh Nora don't do that! I like living in my fantasy world that my parents are blah. When I was in college I visited my dad at his office. He had a card my mom had given him. The outside said "I love you." The inside said "Kind of makes you want to have sex, doesn't it." Ugh! I like to pretend my parents accidentally bumped into each other twice in their lives and that's how my sister and I appeared.

cube said...

I didn't want to think about my parents being *real people* when I was little either. I was even shocked when I found out my teachers went to the bathroom!

Jessey said...

Amy: As a child I, not once but TWICE, walked in on my parents having "The Sex"

I am still traumatized and we're talking about events that occured probably 18-20 years ago.
So, considering that my brother and I live in the world, I know for sure that my parents "did it" four times. It's sickening.

I am also still shocked when I remember that everyone goes to the bathroom. Even totally hot people. Even totally cool people. Even George Bush