Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Oh. My. Goodness. Holy MOSES!

I am never buying carpet cleaner again. Every time I buy carpet cleaner, the cats or the children give me occasion to use it.
I recently bought this two in one awesome carpet cleaner. Since the day it came home with me the cats have gone on a midnight barfing spree that has carried into pooing in Dylan's closet. Nice.

But today takes the cake.
Dylan was laying in the crib, Elizabeth was watching cartoons. I snuck into the shower to get cleaned up. I take five minute long showers, what could happen? Not much, right?
My shower was uneventful, I shampooed, shaved, etc etc.
As SOON as I turned off the water, I felt that something was amiss. The baby was crying, but not hysterically. I wrapped my hair in a towel and got back in the shower to lotion up. And then, it happened.
Elizabeth came into the bathroom.
"Here mommy! For you mommy, lotion."
Oh shit!
I open the shower door to see her standing there with a decimated tin of Bag Balm. She's COVERED in Bag Balm. Legs, arms, HAIR, slathered.

I put her right into the bathtub, scrape off the excess goo and blast her with hot water and soap.

As she soaked in the tub, I went to find the scene of the crime.
Bag Balm all over the coffee table, the recliner chair, the CARPET!

I am never buying carpet cleaner again!


Freebird said...

What a mess. That'll teach you to shower. What is bag balm??

Jessey said...

It's this incredibly thick salve that is intended for cows teats but it used by many people for very dry skin.
It was my darling husband who last used the bag balm and left it open on the coffee table. He's totally in for it.

And I know it's really MY fault, I mean, how DARE I want to be clean!?!

eaf said...

Your daughter has a thing for coating herself in stuff. First the Baby Rub. Now the Bag Balm. At least you won't have any trouble getting her to use sunscreen. But I would keep her away from hair color or tan-in-a-bottle.

Jessey said...

It's true, she's a fool for lotion. She always wants to apply lotion, and chapstick. If you don't watch her with the chapstick (Dora chapstick by the way) then she puts it on her lips, chin, cheeks, forehead...etc etc.

cube said...

What a mess. It looks like Gojo.