Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Lord, help me today!

Dylan was screaming for lunch. SCREAMING.
So I quickly made some tuna artichoke salad and got to eat about five forkfuls of it myself since I was sharing with Dylan "The Bottomless Pit" and his sister Elizabeth "Me Too!".

The combo of tuna and mayonnaise and screaming made me think the kids should take a bath, a nice, waaaaaaaaarm, soothing, make 'em take a nap bath.

I turned on the hot water in the tub with my you may recall...this time, the screwdriver remained safely OUT of the drain. Yay!

I gathered up all the bath-time accessories, towel, soap, new diapers, etc etc, and headed in to the bathroom to turn off the water.

Yeah. Here's where our problems begin kiddos.

Turns out, it's not just the faucet handle that's stripped. I suppose all the screwing and unscrewing on the faucet SCREW itself rendered it completely useless. Yeah.
So there I am, screwdriver in hand, tub filling with boiling hot water (see in our house there are two temperatures at which water leaves a faucet: freezing your tits off cold and boil your nutsack hot) and I'm trying like hell to turn that damn screw...but my screwdriver just can't do it.
The screwdriver won't stay in the little X, it's hopping out everytime I try to turn it. It's getting steamy in the bathroom, I'm sweating, I'm freaking out. The water is rising.
I push the screwdriver into the X as hard as I can and TURRRRRRN. Nothing. Not a budge. The water is coming out full bore, boiling hot and I CANNOT TURN IT OFF!

I called Bob, who *lovingly* guided me to the location of the water shut-off valve for the whole house. I hung up the phone, plunged my hand into very hot water and pulled the drain plug. Then I raced outside, kids crying behind me, grabbed the water key, pulled open the meter box and turned off the water.

I came back inside and Tuna Fish Boy was howling and covered in cats, his sister was naked (don't know why or how), and thank goodness! the water had drained out of the tub. It was still flowing out of the faucet, but at barely a dribble.

Crisis averted!

So now it looks like we'll have to bite the bullet and replace that whole shower. Yeah.


Walter said...

Children, and some adults, have this belief that the louder one talks, yells or screams, the faster things get done.

Jessey said...

Baby screams have a particularly ear-splitting quality which actually makes that assumption correct. I'll do anything posthaste to make that scream stop.

eaf said...

We have the two temperatures of water phenomenon here too. And strangely, the only faucet Athena seems to be fascinated with is the one that could burn the skin right off her arm should she actually turn it one day. Your screwdriver was really just awesome childproofing. Well, until yesterday, that is. :-)

But just imagine how wonderful that new shower will be! (Don't include paying for it in this glorious reverie...)

Jessey said...

The funny thing is I'll probably never use that shower. I always shower in the master bathroom (it has a tiny separate stall shower) and Bob uses the other tub shower for himself, and the kids take baths in there. I'm SORT OF upset that we'll probably have to replace the whole thing because there is nothing wrong with the actual tub/shower it's just that faucet. Bob said he might try to go through the back of the wall instead of tearing out the whole shower and tub. Drywall is cheaper I guess. We'll see what happens.
Any plumbers out there??? :)