Monday, March 10, 2008

Straight out of Central Casting...

So I'm at the grocery store Saturday evening to pick up ice cream and last minute party odds and ends.
I get into the checkout line and as the gal is checking out my items the line is swarmed by page 27 through page 33 of the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.
I glanced at these fellows very briefly, but long enough to discern that they weren't from 'round these parts.

When the guy in front of the pack put the package of goat cheese down on the conveyor belt, my suspicions were confirmed.
I took another look at the fellows.
Shaven clean, spiky crunchy hair, dual studs in all ears, an abundance of "we bought it tattered" clothing....
All signs pointed to a pack of gays.

Let me say here, I love the gay men, they're great. I used to live near San Francisco and partied with gay dudes all the time. I could care less who does what to who in the bedroom.
That said.

My lord, these guys were so very gay. Like, "call the producer we need more gays in this disco dance scene" And these four guys showed up.

If the goat cheese wasn't tip-off enough, the 12 bottles of wine for four 20-something guys (instead of the local custom 30-pack and bottle of Jager) and the 40-ish female companion (hag) they had with them totally sealed the deal.

Then they started talking, endlessly.

"Ooh, a Starbucksss! Do you want some coffee?"
"I want an iccced coffee, what are you going to get?"
"Just something to drink, I'm soooo thirsssty."
"Here try thisss I just got it."
"No, I don't DO espressssssso"

It was all I could do to not just bust out laughing. These guys were THE GAYEST guys I had ever encountered...remember, I used to live near capital of the world. These guys were turning OUT the gay.

I finally broke down laughing when one of them started singing along to the supermarket music...a horrendously over produced dance-disco mix of "I Will Love Again"

Singing and DANCING, complete with dramatic vogueing and very expressive face.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I laughed. Out loud.
It was like "Just Jack" live. Hilarious.

Somewhere on this mountain of plaid flannel, jeans and work boots those four dudes (and one hag) got their groove on Saturday night. Work it girls!

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