Monday, September 29, 2008

It's for the environment....

You may or may not recall that Bob and I have been duped into supporting the "family bed".
We have been tricked into this by our terrible children who refuse to sleep alone in their perfectly good beds.
We can get them to fall asleep in their own rooms (which I am seriously considering converting into a gym and a sewing room for me, respectively, if they don't start SLEEPING IN THERE!). However, we cannot get them to STAY asleep in their own rooms.

The baby already sleeps in our room, as it's just damn easier that way when he wakes up in the middle of the night. So we leave the light on in our closet in order to sort of slightly have vision at 3 am. That light must work as some sort of kid beacon.

Inevitably, Dylan and Elizabeth will wander in to our bedroom in the middle of the night and request to sleep with us in our bed. Since we're too tired to argue and too sleepy to get out of bed and return the kids to their proper beds, we give in.

This results in a fun puzzle of legs and elbows and a rousing game of blanket tug of war. Usually whoever shows up last has to sleep at the foot of the bed, like a dog, curled up amid the stinky feet. Sometimes when it's Dylan's turn to sleep at the end of the bed he will roll over and fall off the bed. Usually there is a big pile of laundry there to cushion his fall. That's just good planning! He usually doesn't wake up when he falls off, so we just leave him in the laundry pile until the morning. Which apparently to these kids begins at 6:30 am. JERKS!

Yesterday afternoon I tried to persuade Elizabeth that this arrangement was no good and would have to be discontinued.
She, of course, resisted and put up a rather interesting argument in favor of continuing to sleep in our room.

Me: You are going to have to sleep in your room tonight, like a big girl.
E: No, I can't.
Me: Yes, you can.
E: I can't! I can't! We have to save on the cable bill!
Me: What?
E: We have to save energy!
Me: What?
E: We have to turn off all the lights and all the things. That is called saving energy.
Me: Yes.
E: So we have to turn off the light in my room to save energy so they don't turn off the cable!
Me: What?!?
E: We have to turn off the light! I can't sleep in the dark!
Me: I think we can leave the light on in just your room so you can sleep in there.
E: No NO! We can't! We have to save energy!!!!

Ah. So green, so crazy.


Jessica said...

Your blogs are SO. FUNNY.


Jessica said...

It's because I live in CrazyTown USA. Population: Five

Anonymous said...

How in the world did you manage to get pregnant the 3rd time, with these kids in your bed. I guess you must have had to be efficient.

Jessica said...


Anonymous said...

Jessey, your kids need to be Ferberized. Buy the boook on Amazon, "Solving your child's sleep problems", by Richard Ferber. Get a new version though, b/c he has chagned his philospphy. My boss swears by it. I am working with Scott on nap times. (Night time, no problems..) Seriously, the best $12.95 you have ever spent.

debdills said...

ahhh, an environmentalist in the making! are you sure you produced this child?

but heed joan's advice.... you need your own space. even if it's only for four hours of sleep at a time.

Jessica said...

Ferberize? Is that like jazzercise???

I'm about to strap them into bed, like the astronauts!