I haven't been posting a lot lately. I've been sort of in the dumps moodwise.
It's probably the combination of the changing seasons, sick kids, sleep deprivation, money troubles and my usual malaise.
Whatever it is, it's getting worse.
Lately I'm having trouble sleeping at all at night. Not just because the baby STILL wakes up two or three times, but also because I just can't fall asleep or stay asleep. My old friend insomnia.
I tried taking over the counter sleep aids, but they don't work fast enough so I lay there not sleeping, trying to sleep, wondering why I'm not sleeping, thinking about all the things I have to do the next day, trying to forget about all the things I have to do and the sleeplessness multiplies with every thought I have...it's quite annoying.
Probably because of that I'm super irritable all day, well, partially the no sleep thing and partially because the kids are making me nutso.
Elizabeth keeps on trashing her closet and her room even after I clean it up perfectly and reprimand her for her pigginess and make her swear she'll never ever EVER do it again. A few days later all her clothes are on the floor of her closet again....sigh.
I give up.
Bob went in and cleaned out Dylan's room yesterday. He even shampooed the nasty nasty carpet, which is about to get ripped out next spring I think. I actually told my mom to buy Dylan a floor for Christmas.
Maybe I AM ruining Christmas.
So yeah, there's that...
And Benjamin ugh, he's lucky he's cute. He's a terrible sleeper. Won't stay asleep at night, he just wants to get into bed with mom and cuddle, which is cute, but makes it additionally hard for me to sleep.
I'm seriously considering going to the doctor and getting put back on the crazy meds...and Ambien or something like that...it's most likely the best thing for everyone if I don't go completely insane or get totally depressed.