Monday, November 10, 2008

Feeling funky

I haven't been posting a lot lately. I've been sort of in the dumps moodwise.
It's probably the combination of the changing seasons, sick kids, sleep deprivation, money troubles and my usual malaise.

Whatever it is, it's getting worse.

Lately I'm having trouble sleeping at all at night. Not just because the baby STILL wakes up two or three times, but also because I just can't fall asleep or stay asleep. My old friend insomnia.

I tried taking over the counter sleep aids, but they don't work fast enough so I lay there not sleeping, trying to sleep, wondering why I'm not sleeping, thinking about all the things I have to do the next day, trying to forget about all the things I have to do and the sleeplessness multiplies with every thought I have...it's quite annoying.

Probably because of that I'm super irritable all day, well, partially the no sleep thing and partially because the kids are making me nutso.
Elizabeth keeps on trashing her closet and her room even after I clean it up perfectly and reprimand her for her pigginess and make her swear she'll never ever EVER do it again. A few days later all her clothes are on the floor of her closet again....sigh.

I give up.

Bob went in and cleaned out Dylan's room yesterday. He even shampooed the nasty nasty carpet, which is about to get ripped out next spring I think. I actually told my mom to buy Dylan a floor for Christmas.

Maybe I AM ruining Christmas.

So yeah, there's that...
And Benjamin ugh, he's lucky he's cute. He's a terrible sleeper. Won't stay asleep at night, he just wants to get into bed with mom and cuddle, which is cute, but makes it additionally hard for me to sleep.

I'm seriously considering going to the doctor and getting put back on the crazy meds...and Ambien or something like that...it's most likely the best thing for everyone if I don't go completely insane or get totally depressed.
Right?

6 comments:

eva said...

Sorry you're feeling so crappy. Please go see a doc or something. Doesn't sound like something you should put off or self-medicate. :(

Amy said...

I am sorry you feel like crap. I can help your money problems some by ordering lots of baby hats. Can you make fleecy caps? I'll need lots and lots of odd shaped fleecy caps to cover up Ms. "I'm so smart my brain won't say in my head." Do you think you could make baby hats with lumps in the back? Or maybe regular yarn caps with a liner, so they don't get stuck in her bandages? Maybe I should get some that say "please don't touch my hat", for idiots who try to remove it and freak out. Then I can say, "she tried to warn you not to take off her hat."

But definitely go to the doctor. Even if you get a prescription and don't take them, maybe it'll make you feel better if you just have them in the house and *know* you can take them.

Jessica said...

Amy, I can make you whatever you want!
Yarnie caps, fleece caps...anything! I think I could definitely come up with something that would work for you and Baby A.

On the medication front...yes, self medication does not work. Sleep aids are not effective, wine is too caloric and doesn't help the cruddy mood.

I think another 5 hour trip to the doc's waiting room (and subsequent 10 minute examination) is required.

Meredith said...

If it makes you feel any better, I also am not sleeping well. This baby kicks me ALL night and I am getting to that uncomfortable, tossing and turning, and getting up 3 times to pee stage. See if a doc can help!!

Jessica said...

Well, at Ben's 6 month checkup today his doctor said I was crazy to still have him in my room and that he was waking up so much for "social visits" and not because he neeeeeeded to (and I sort of already knew that) and that Ben needs to be in his own bed from now on...you know, so I don't become a "basketcase" <= his word.

I totally agree. ben is laying in HIS own crib in the boys' room right now.
Sigh.
I might sleep tonight!

Andrea said...

Hey-
I know I'm late to comment on this, but I'm sorry you're in a funk right now. I would guess that it's mostly sleep related (or lack of sleep related) and with Ben in his own crib now it will be improving soon! Thinking of you mama!