Thursday, September 15, 2011

Attention Kidnappers, These Moms are Onto Your Tricks!

I just saw the funniest thing ever. Well, it didn't start out funny but it sure as hell ended up funny. For me at least.
Let me back up.

I went to pick up Liz and our neighbor from school. We have to wait like 10 minutes for the neighbor girl's school to let out so we wait at the park.

As I sit down in the grass this woman approaches me and asks if I have seen a little girl with curly blonde hair. I say "I JUST sat down, I didn't see her"

She walks off still talking to me, presumably, "There are two little girls and we can't find them..."

I am thinking, this is Simi and this is a small park, where the hell could they have gotten to?? They had like three moms engaged in the search so I didn't get up and join, I don't even know what these two missing girls look like so what help would I be, just hauling over random girls...Is it this one? This one? This one? I'd probably end up arrested!

Anyway, I digress...

The search party is wandering around, calling out these girls names for about five minutes. Fruitless.

Then these two little girls, one with curly blonde hair, come running out from underneath the playground equipment where they were sitting and happily playing the whole time.

The mom of the girls immediately starts yelling at them "Didn't you hear me calling you?" The girl, guilelessly says "No I didn't."

"Well you need to be listening for me when I am calling you and I didn't know where you were and you need to stay where I can see you...." blah blah blah...

I start laughing. Why was the mom yelling at her kids for playing on the playground? She should have been yelling at herself for being a dumb, blind bitch who didn't see her own kids 10 feet in front of her face!

The "crisis" averted, another kind mom reminds the once "missing" girls that they have to "Play where we can see you from now on!"

Oh, you mean like RIGHT ON THE PLAYGROUND IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE?? Would that be an appropriate place to play? Whaddya think mom?

Those poor kids.

The best part was after the dust settled and the kids were properly admonished for being "missing" the moms sat down and started exchanging tips on what to do when the kids DO end up abducted, as surely they soon will be abducted...seeing as they had this very close call today.

My favorite tip was to remember what shoes your kids were wearing when they were abducted because "the kidnappers will cut their hair and change their clothes but they never remember to change their shoes."

Good tip.
I will have to remember that one.

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