Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Celeb News!


Sir Paul and legless wife split; Blame media pressure
I suspect that he finally realized how annoying she is, as the rest of the world did four years ago. Good for her, there's no prenup!

Two tranny looking folks confirm their engagement
Nic and Keith are engaged. The second worst kept secret in Hollywood.

Paris' Mum's Gifts Stolen
Kathy Hilton's Mother's Day gifts were purloined from her front gate, so says the delivery man. Methinks the delivery man may have pocketed the loot!

Britney Spears Tries to Kill SPF, Again
Oops, she did it again. Britney drove around with 8-month old son SPF in a car seat in the back seat but facing forward. BAD BAD BRITNEY. At least he wasn't strapped to the roof. Oh wait, it was a convertible. She's so lucky!

Shock Shock! Da Vinci Code movie sucks as hard as the book
I for one am completely shocked! ;)
I think it was the hair, Tom.
And BTW, what kind of parallel universe are we in with two summer "blockbuster" movies by our Toms both receiving a lukewarm reception? Where is our summer box office bump? What will be the big movie of the summer, "Over the Hedge"???

8 comments:

Chris said...

X3, Superman Returns. My money is on Superman.

Jessey said...

Ah yes, Superman, I forgot about that one.
I am beyond disinterested in the X-Men.
What's gonna be the big chick movie?

Amy said...

Heather Mills looks like Felicity Huffman in that photo.

Jessey said...

She really does!

cube said...

This post had a lot of celeb news.

#1: I suspect she finally realized what a whiny old fart Paul was... "Wahh, it was the media's fault!"

#2: He's considerably paler than her last boyfriend, n'est pas?

#3: Who cares.

#4: Once a twit, always a twit.

#5: Bwa ha ha ha! (Sorry, I hate Tom Hanks & the Schadenfreude is overwhelming me right now)

Whew!

Jessey said...

Brit's reps are fighting back on this one saying she did nothing wrong and was in "total compliance with California law" because her kid is a fatty, er, I mean he weighs over 20 pounds already. He's eight months old. Does she puree him Cheetos?
But, the 12 month and 20 pound rule is merely a minimum age and weight requirement, so say the sages at Babycenter.com. And SPF isn't a year old yet, it's 20 pounds AND 12 months. Stoopid Britney.
She's got enough money to hire someone to follow her around all day and stop her from doing stoopid crap. I'm available, but pricey.

Jason said...

Sir Paul is getting a divorce because Heather caught him smoking weed again. He'll pay through the nose because if he doesn't, she'll make it public.

Jessey said...

Jason, I hope you're kidding because, well, because of this