Wednesday, April 22, 2009

ANTM Cycle 12: Eighth Elimination

Last time: Tyra and Co. sent home London for being fat and having no face.

This week, the remaining girls are jetting off to Brazil! Que bom!
Immediately on arrival, they have to do a challenge. Find a flower shop, then find the Girl from Ipanema.
Racing through the city, oh the suspense!
Fo and Natalie win the challenge!

The Girl from Ipanema gives them the key to their new pad and some barely intelligible advice about movement.

Once in the hizzy, the girls get a gift basket including $500 flip flops! For real? I have flip flops that look just like them and I got them at the Walmart for like $6. Fashion is a ripoff!

And I'm sorry to report that once again Natalie is a sourpuss, whiny bitch. She said there's "nothing special about Brazil" yeah, like Palos Verdes is that friggin incredible! Ugh, she's 18 and a SoCal snob jerk already.

What's so great about Brazil? Uh, how about this, this, this and this?

Get it? Got it? Goooood.

Then the girls do a capoeira teach where they learn the moves from this Brazilian martial art.
Uh oh, Natalie is a hot mess. The other girls work it. But noone works it like Celia who actually "accidentally" pops a roundhouse kick into Aminat's dome. Sweet.

There's a photo challenge where the girls use their capoeira moves to take fierce pic. Duh, Fo wins!
Allison is surprisingly good, the rest of the girls are fierce tranny hot messes.

As the winner, Fo gets to steal 25 shots from another girl for the next photo shoot, she chooses to take Teyona's snaps. Ohhhh snap. That's what you get girl. To her credit, Teyona didn't get all (in my husband's words) Queen Latifah about it. She said she was flattered that Fo yanked her shots. Then proceeds to yap behind Fo's back about it with Aminat.

For the actual photo shoot, the girls are styled like Carmen Miranda and pose in a favela, which is like a Brazilian shanty town. Incidentally, there is a kickass taqueria in Vacaville, Calif. called Favelas and it's the bomb. Yummy.

During the shoot, Allison and Teyona pull it out. Celia and Aminat are sort of flat. Fo "needed the extra frames" and Natalie....well, she sort of picked one pose and hung with it...more on that later.

At panel Paulina's fake tan is horrendous. Like Lohan bad.
Critiquing the shots:
Allison is alive and sexy.
Fo is too much a copycat of the real Carmen Miranda, not enough model.
Teyona must have known she had to work it with less frames because her pic is fierce.
Aminat is displaying the "black girl model pose" Heeeeey! And is consequently boring.
Celia has no spark, it's her "weakest shot yet" and is not fresh.
Natalie also has no spark....but wait....

The judges say Natalie didn't mix it up enough and DAMN STUPID BITCH BLAMES MR. JAY! No no no no! That is a Top Model NO NO! You NEVER ever ever EVER blame Mr. Jay for your bad shots! Ahhhhhhh shit. This is no bueno.

Call out order!

Allison, damn girl!
Teyona despite the nightie dress
Fo, fieeeeerce

Bottom two: Aminat and Natalie
And damned if Natalie didn't get the boot....crap.
"Modeling isn't just being pretty and taking pretty pictures," Tyra said.
Well, then what the hell IS it about? Astrophysics?
I'm lost!

Natalie too was pissed, as I predicted just after her ouster, she was flabbergasted that SHEEEEE was sent home as SHEEEEE is clearly better than everyone and they're all hags and skanks. I'm paraphrasing here.
So, Natalie is leaving unremarkable Brasilia and heading back to the PV. What up Rancho Palos Verdes!?!?!? RPV in the hizzy! Can I get a trust fund?

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