First let me say that I am totally irritated with my scale, I think it is a piece of junk and I despise it. When I say junk, I mean shit, and I mean it like this "SHIT!"
Not just because I have not lost any weight this week...but because I have NO IDEA what I weigh at all because every time I step on the scale I get a different result. Bah!
All the numbers I'm getting are jumping around in the same five-pound range as last week, so I assume that I weigh the same as last week...though there's really no way to tell at all.
That's the baddest news.
Here's the bad news...I'm going to have to revise my weight loss plan entirely, seeing as how I seem totally incapable of budging the scale at all these last three weeks. It's really screwed me up plan-wise!
Maybe it's not advisable to try to lose weight while I'm nursing at all. Maybe I'm stressing on it unnecessarily right now when I should be focusing on other more important things.
I mean, I've already come a long way. Regardless of what the stupid scale says, I'm thinner and leaner than I was six weeks ago (obviously!) and I don't have that far to go to get back to the weight I was before I got pregnant. That is all good news.
Here is the best news...
Despite my complete fear of not fitting into them, I tried on a few pairs of the cute pants I bought last summer when I was skinnier. THEY FIT!!
I'm even wearing a pair of "skinny" pants right now as I type! Yay!
That puts me in clothes that are just two sizes bigger than what I wore in college my sophomore year when I worked out twice a day over the summer and got myself a nice eating disorder (coffee and tomatoes anyone) and got my body down to 135 pounds and STILL thought I was a fat cow.
I hate that girl. HATE! Not because she's a skinny bitch and still complains but because she had no freaking fun because she was way too concerned about what everyone was thinking about her all the time 24/7. As if anyone was as preoccupied with the size of her booty and the perceived lumpiness of her belly as she was.
Gah. Get over yourself!! I wish I could go back in time and shake myself!
Oh, and I'm also just one size bigger than I was when I graduated and when I met Bob, though somehow I'm 20-25 pounds heavier now than I was then, I think. That doesn't seem right! Right?
Maybe the scales have never worked correctly for me?
So, big picture now...
I've still got a lot of work to do. My long-term goal is the same, the same end-weight, which, fine I'll just say it, is 150 pounds.
Doing the cheap math, you'll see that I now weigh 175 pounds, or thereabouts (stupid scale) which is friggin' hideous and obese!! Blech.
Today I wear a size 16. But hey, I can also wear junior size 17 or 19 which kicks ass because I HATE old lady clothes and junior sizes are cut for narrow hipped skinny hos who have no kids and I have three kids and .... hold please .... 44 inch hips over the bones (which incidentally are not even padded with fat but rather poking out so figure THAT out).
There, all my cards are on the table...
I've spoken the numbers that dare not be spaked, spoken ...said.
Do you still love me? :)
PS - I don't know if Eleeza is out there or elsewhere, but she will remember hopefully that when I got measured for my wedding dress I had 45 inch hips and it almost made me cry, and that was (presumably) five pounds LIGHTER than I am now.
So boo-yah engaged me! I'm slightly smaller than you! Shazam!