Feast gone awry

Elizabeth's class had a Thanksgiving feast lunch yesterday. I brought the boys of course, and immediately knew there would be a problem.
As soon as we stepped into the class, Dylan refused to follow directions. He wouldn't join the children in the music and movement circle. He insisted on playing with loud toys while the kids did their activities and he was just generally a pain in the rump.
Finally, it was time to sit down to lunch and I was already frustrated and exhausted. Ben sat on my lap and kept grabbing my plate, threatening to spill it. Dylan sat next to me and shredded up two dinner rolls before announcing that he "can't like that" and jumping up from the table and running away.
Then he ran circles around the whole class while everyone else (even the bad kid) sat and ate their lunches.

After about two minutes of that I was done and I scooped up Dylan and we left the class and the feast behind.

I got him out to the car where he started crying hysterically. Sobbing and whining. He was doing that cry where you are crying so much you can't catch your breath and everything you say is one word at a time, all sloppy with crying.

I asked him "What is the matter? Why are you acting up?"
He said. "I. Want. To. Talk. To. Daaaaaadddddyyyyyyy!!!"

Ugh. I called Bob on the phone and Dylan either locked up completely or wailed in his ear. I hung up the phone. Dylan wailed again.
I had TONS of errands to run, so I called my sister in law and she offered to watch Dylan that afternoon. THANK GOD!

As I drove away from the school and toward my salvation, Dylan fell asleep. Of COURSE he was tired! He just burned up 3000 calories screaming and crying and running around sobbing.
Horrible.

When I went back to pick him up, about 2.5 hours later, he was naked from the waist down and wearing his cousins oversized T-shirt.

"What happened?" I asked without really being sure that I wanted to know the answer!

My sister in law told me this story...

"We went to the electric company to pay the bill and visit my dad," she said...meaning my father in law who works there, of course. "While we were there, Dylan peed on a chair."

"WHAT?!"

Apparently, he peed so much that he peed right through his pull up and his pants and all over a chair.

Nice.
Real nice.

Luckily I had just bought a package of pull ups to keep at my sister in laws house just in case of this sort of thing, so he was covered. Literally.

I could write yet ANOTHER post about how tired I am or how much I love coffee, but it has been done to death and back.

Aside from the baby keeping me awake though, there's not much else going on.
Oh, and yes, he DID torture me again last night with his crying and whining.
And yes, I realize that he isn't yet 6 months old, but I KNOW he's doing this on purpose. Some sort of baby vengeance.

This morning, after I woke up at 5 am, I thought "perhaps he's cutting a tooth..." but I rubbed my finger on his gums and didn't feel anything imminent.

Surely, there must be some reason for his sudden assiness. I wish he could just tell me what was the matter. Until then....


--- In Other News ---

My brother in law just popped over, oh how I hate the pop in!
I was wearing a bathrobe and had my hair up in a towel.
Usually anyone knocking on our door is either selling something we don't want, trying to make us Jehovah's Witnesses or attempting to collect on a debt and/or cut off our power/water/cable etc.
What I'm saying is, I pay no mind to my attire when unexpected visitors knock. Ask the UPS guy, he'll tell you what a foxy towel-headed lady I am. Ha ha. Who doesn't love grey sweatpants?

But this time, it was my brother in law. I opened the door and he just laughed.
"What? You don't like my outfit?" I said.

He just laughed.
Turns out he needed to get a washing machine hose that my husband had. Bob has one of everything, I swear. You name it, he's got one. It's really quite incredible the amount of crap the man has collected in the past five years on a very limited budget.

I should test his junk-ability and ask him for some crazy thingamajig...I bet he'd have one or at the very least, know someone who could give him one.

You lurking readers can help me with this task.

Post here and now with something that makes you think "there's surely no way he'd have that", but is still plausible enough that someone COULD have it at their house. No posting "nuclear reactor" or "Osama Bin Laden" I'm 100% sure we have neither.

You post, I'll ask. Let's see how deep the junk pile goes!

I am so tired

Since the baby is still not sleeping through the night I figure that I also haven't slept through the night in 4.5 months. That's roughly 135 nights. Consecutively.
Add to that all the nights in the third trimester of pregnancy that I couldn't get comfortable enough fall asleep or stay asleep and then add to that all the nights with the other two children and I figure I've probably slept all night long exactly 27 times in the last four and a half years.
I'm freaking tired.

You know those cute Suave commercials where the mom is all bedraggled and just using the Suave shampoo makes her come alive. Yeah, no. That's not gonna cut it for me.

Maybe Suave shampoo, plus IV caffeine, plus two weeks at a spa resort (including endless foot massages), plus a coma.
A nice long coma. A long 100 hour coma.
That's a good coma.

I think I'd be nicely refreshed after a good long coma.

what was I going to say???

I've got 12 days until the baby is out of me! Yay!
I'm exhausted.
EX-HAUSTED!
Not that it will get much better after he's born, but at least my mom will be here! And I fully plan to sleep in the hospital as much as I can.
This little baby is sapping all my energy and then using it to kick out a jam on my kidneys. STOP IT BABY!

The last three days have been the worst.
I usually find myself tired by 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Today I am already tired, and it is just 10:30 in the morning.
I only just woke up three hours ago and I'm already falling asleep here. This is not good.

I read this passage from an article on Dr. Spock's website. Not MR. Spock. Doctor.

If you have other children, it can be hard to make time to rest. Try to lie down at the same time your other children are napping. If they don't nap, try telling them it is quiet time and Mommy needs to rest.

Oh my goodness I about died laughing, but I was too tired to laugh.
Telling MY ANGELS that "mommy needs to rest" is ill-advised. They would interpret that as the signal from on-high to destroy, destroy, destroy!!! Or worse yet, escape! Dylan pulled off a fantastic escape yesterday. I wasn't even sleeping. He's good. Elizabeth came running in from the front deck (which I THOUGHT was gated off) yelling "Dylan went down the stairs!!!"
I found him about 40 feet away, just wandering around clad in only a diaper, SpongeBob shoes and a guilty face. I have no idea how he ungated the stairs.
Are you reading this Meredith?? :)

Anyway, normal late pregnancy fatigue aside, I've also run out of coffee, which is HORRIBLE! TERRIBLE!!! Truly unthinkable. It's heinous.
This delicious drink was the only thing keeping me awake for the last nine months. I have had zero coffee for the last three days. It's starting to hurt.
Not that I drink SO MUCH coffee, but dang, I need at least one good cup to get going. Maybe two.
Cutting down to zero is not working for me.
I'm not supposed to go into town until tomorrow, but I might have to make the trip today JUST to buy coffee. I can't live like this!
Seriously. I'm about to eat the coffee grounds from three days ago. Or attempt to re-brew them. It's bad. It's real bad.
I have to shake this off. I have things to do and remember and clean and..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In other news:
You'd think I'd have have tons of gray hair, with my children conspiring against me constantly, but no. I checked. No gray hair, yet.
I'm sure the TWO boys will get to work on that ASAP, STAT. Check. Done.

I can't keep my eyes open much longer. For real. I'm going to have to tie the children to something and take a nap.

This is crap!

I've got a job working at the "Megalomart" in the automotive department. First let me say, it is not MY fault that the mechanics took three hours to change your oil. And weren't you tipped off that it was going to be a loooooong wait when you parked your car 10th in line for the service? Hmmmm? If not, you're an idiot.
Secondly, let me say that as the stupid temperatures start to dip lower and lower, yes we are going to run out of antifreeze and seeing as how I am on the absolute bottom rung in this department, no I don't know WHEN we are getting any more. PS there are other stores in this town!!
I actually had a guy ask me if we carried some crazy XYZ part for his specific car. I said, no sorry we don't carry those. And THIS DOUCHE says "Well, your competition will be very happy to hear that."
Uh, OK. Whatever, have a nice day.
Lame-o.

Also, to you lazy ass bitches who bring over a full friggin cart of groceries for ME to check out at my tiny little counter with no rotating bag dispenser, just bags hanging off a hook on the counter AND no belt and no slide by booper, just a hand booper...you fucking suck! Don't you notice the line of angry tire and lube customers cussing ME out now under their breath because I didn't (and can't) tell you to get bent.
I don't mind if you come over and pay for your oil change/tire rotation and a couple things you browsed for while waiting the 15 hours that took, but seriously, a whole cart full of groceries??? Do you hate me? And no, we can't check out weighable produce. I'm going to have to confiscate those apples. <= This has actually happened.

Luckily I got my schedule changed so I don't have to hang around there ALONE during the weeknights I work until 10 or midnight. I now only work until 8 pm. Which is much better. I can almost get home and catch the end of Heroes and House. My two favorite shows which I will now miss indefinitely. And no, I don't have TIVO and I've long since forgotten how a VCR works. Gah!

Today I work from 11 am until 8 pm. Blech. Eight hours on my fat preggo feet getting yelled at by shmucks who are too lazy? too cheap? too stupid? to go to Jiffy Lube where the same crap is cheaper and faster. Dumb.
At least they play movies in the lounge.
Yesterday it was Surfs Up, again. Before that it was Fantastic Four: Something about the Silver Surfer but mostly about Jessica Alba's breasts. I was unimpressed, being as I am not a lesbian.

But most disturbing of all is that I actually have to work on Halloween night, meaning I will miss Trick or Treating with my babies. Yes, I only have to work until 8 pm, so I guess I could meet up with Bob and the kiddos somewhere in town, but still!!
This is crap!

Sick and tired

Literally. I'm sick AND tired.

I'm pretty sure I have another sinus infection, and have had it for a week or two. I can't get rid of it and it's progressed to include a chronic chest congestion and hacking cough.

Add to that the antidepressant I'm taking - and its accompanying side effect of sleep disturbance, which for me seems to manifest as low grade lethargy all day and then insomnia at night. Fun.

Add to THAT two crazy kids who are running around all day trying to poison, maim and impale themselves with normal household items.

Add to THAT Dylan's newfound interest in getting me to exercise by running up and down the stairs to fetch the sippy cup he keeps throwing off the balcony.

Add to THAT Elizabeth's predilection for requesting various meals of varying degrees of difficulty vis-a-vis preparation and then rejecting those meals wholesale and asking for popcorn.

Add to THAT....ad infinitum.