Benjamin is home!

Because the hospital was too crowded and we were all fine and not needing round the clock nursing anymore, I insisted on being discharged yesterday afternoon.
Tears! The magic potion!
My OB and Ben's pediatrician cleared us both for release and we were all home by 1:30 pm!
As Elizabeth said:
"We're all a family again!"

The kids are beyond THRILLED to have another little person to poke at love and kiss.

My mom is here making meals, helping take care of and wrangle the older kids and keep the house and its occupants clean.
All I have to worry about is myself and Ben, and he's a dream baby so far!
He's a great sleeper. He slept all the way through his first night in the hospital which of course, kept me awake worrying. Duh.
He's an avid fan of nursing, which is also awesome! I expect my milk to come in today or tomorrow and he'll be sooo happy!
Last night (night number two) I'll forever refer to as, "The Night of Burping and Farting: Ben's not a fan"
Every time he had to toot or burp he'd FREAK out first, as though he was going to explode. Then he'd finish and fall back asleep like an angel.
Eventually though, he got himself all worked up and I had to sleep with him right next to me in bed in order for either of us to get any rest. No biggie.
He woke up twice to eat and went right back to sleep both times.

We were up at 6:30ish this morning and while my mom fed and changed Dylan (Elizabeth snoozed a BIT longer than everyone else this morning) I changed Ben, fed him and he went back to sleep. He's just now starting to get fussy, but hey! He napped for almost two hours in his bassinet without me snuggling him and without a pacifier! Victory is mine!

I'm just so happy to be not pregnant anymore, to be home and to be relatively pain free. Percoset helps.
Love you all!
Thanks for all the well wishes!
Enjoy the new pics!

Last Day as a Preggo

Tomorrow I give birth to the final member of The Triad.
Was The Triad good or evil on "Charmed"?**
I can't remember...eh, either way. Everyone switched back and forth on that show so much...
Anyway, can you see how my brain is working lately, as in to say, not working at all.

My mom is here and today for my ultimate Mother's Day present she kidnapped not only my children but also my husband and made them go shopping! Ha!
I am supposed to be resting, packing my bag for the hospital and making guacamole for their return home. Yes, I make great guac.

Instead, I caught up on my e-mails, closed out my craft shop for my new mother hiatus and read celebrity gossip online.
In that order.

As for the impending birth, I am nervous. Nervous both because egad ANOTHER life I'm responsible for is joining the world AND doing so via a giant gaping hole in my belly.
Surgery freaks me out. I know it will be fine and I never have to do this again, but it still freaks me out. I will have to force myself to sleep tonight. I had MAD trouble sleeping last night and ended up dreaming about being married to Adam Sandler. Oy vey. Niiiightmare!

Where was I going with this?
Oh, I have no idea.


I'll have someone snap a final preggo pic and post it tonight for the most official "before" pic possible. You will not get a picture of me at 5 am heading into the hospital. That's just not going to happen. What little pride and dignity I have left won't allow that to happen.
The lighting is not great, but here is the last pic!

And then tomorrow evening, the baby update will be up! Wow! Tomorrow!!!!!!!!!
Yipes.

I better go clean something, just for good measure.


**You know me, I can't live not knowing something. Google reveals The Triad are evil demons.

Post-Partum Plans

Remember when I said I had lost 2.5 pounds. Well I found them.
I think it's just fluctuations in water weight. I've been REALLY thirsty lately. Thirs-tay! Like, pour a glass of water, chug. Pour another glass, sip.
Or maybe I lost the weight and baby found it?

I have every confidence that I will deliver this baby and lose 15 pounds Monday morning. Whoo hoo! Now that's a diet!

After my mandatory recovery period, I will embark on a quest for new hotness...aka lose some fat flubbery weight.
The baby ticker will be replaced with a fat butt reduction ticker. I'm hoping that by 6 weeks postpartum, and through no real effort of my own, I'll be at or below my pre-preg weight which was 1** pounds. I'm not telling you!
Then I want to take off another 25 pounds past that, getting me to a much healthier weight of 1** pounds. This, I predict, will be the hard part. I've gained pretty reasonably throughout the pregnancy, so taking it all back off should really just be a matter of getting the baby and accessories out and de-swelling!
Then I should be right back where I was last August. Except, my kids are crazier now and don't ever nap.
But anyway...40 pounds lost (including the baby and accessories) is my goal for the summer.

I plan to do this with daily exercise, on top of the usual kid chasing, and watching my diet. No more ice cream. Sad. Lots more fiber and water. Yay!

I'm glad I'm having this plan take effect in the warmer months. Losing weight is SOO much easier in the summer when it's too hot to eat anyway! AND there aren't any cookie-laden holidays during the summer months either.
I'll just try to be sensible, get in exercise and keep track of my progress.

Plus, I'll keep my super cute PRE-preg clothes in the front of the closet to remind myself that I used to be way cuter and need to get back there and beyond. Beside that motivation, I can't AFFORD new fat butt clothes, so, if I ever want to get out of sweats and PJ pants, this has to be done!

Here are my short and long-term goals:
(DW=delivery weight)

Immediate post-partum loss/Three week checkup (June 2): I expect a 15-20 pound loss in the first few weeks just from having the baby. Goal: DW-20

Six week checkup (June 23): Another 5 pounds, bringing me all the way back to pre-preg weight. Goal: DW-25

Nine weeks postpartum (July 14): I'll be heading out to SoCal this week, hopefully 25-30 pounds lighter than the weight I delivered at. Goal: DW-30

12 weeks postpartum (Aug 4): Should be easy to keep weight off and keep losing. I'll be at my mom's house or elsewhere in California for most of July. She'll keep me walking around, going to the park, providing healthy meals and childcare. Plus I'll be swimming! Another 3-5 pound loss.
Goal: DW-35

The biggest milestone looming is my 30th birthday, which falls exactly 16 weeks postpartum!
Isn't that a major coincidence!

16 weeks postpartum (Sept. 1): During the month of August, Elizabeth will start official preschool, causing me to take the boys into town at least three times a week in the afternoons. We'll be at the park a lot I expect, and it's HOT here in August, so no heavy meals for me. Goal weight by Sept. 1: DW-40

If I can make this goal by my birthday, I will be about 5 pounds away from my goal weight for the summer which is awesome!
I think it's TOTALLY doable, especially considering that half of the weight I have to lose to get there is probably going to just disappear after the baby is born. Hopefully, I'll have a 15 pound baby and make it all that much easier! Ha ha!

A week from today...

A week from today...in fact, from RIGHT NOW! I'll be an official mother of three! Yay! and Yipes!

I'm excited, scared, nervous, freaking out, joyful, tired, happy, fat and did I say tired?

Actually, I'm not that fat. I'm on weekly appointments now of course and my weight has actually gone DOWN at the last two check-ups. I lost 2.5 pounds in weeks 35-36 and 36-37. Now I'm in week 38...I think I'm holding steady. I'm still at least 12 pounds lighter than I was when I delivered either Elizabeth OR Dylan, so hopefully beating back the baby weight won't be so hard this summer!
If you'll recall, I was getting super fly last summer thanks to Extreme Fat Smash and Celebrity Fit Club when my husband noticed how fly I was getting and promptly knocked me up. Thanks hon.

In total, I think I've only gained 20-25 pounds with this pregnancy, which is right on the money. With the two others I was around that mark too. I'm apparently not one of those mothers-to-be who eats everything in the pantry and gains 70 pounds with each kid. Don't get me wrong. I eat everything in the pantry. I just somehow burn it up with my uber-preggo-metabolism. Huzzah!
I wish it would last post-partum!
It also can't be a coincidence that as my brood grows larger and crazier, I have less time to eat Cheetos and am required to expend more energy on tactical crisis management aka "Dylan's running down the driveway!" or "Bits-uh-bith!!! That's mine! That's mine! That's MIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah, good times.
Have kids. Join me.

Those with kids, you know...oh, you know.

Even though I cleaned a lot yesterday, I swear the house is still messy. I need to de-clutter now. Unfortunately, now I'm really tired from all the effort yesterday. Sigh. Oh well.

I really should have taken before/after pictures of the giant strange invisible death monster stain. It's all gone now, but it was just very weird. I can't figure out what the heck it could have been. If it comes back mysteriously, I'm moving out.

The kids were actually pretty good for me in the afternoon. They watched some SpongeBob cartoons (of course) which let me get in a much needed shower - though after the hours of dishes and laundry doing...my hot water supply lasted just about halfway through conditioning...or approximately 5 minutes. Yep. Moms can shower FAST! I can take a whole complete shower, legs shaved and all in about 3 minutes. No lie. I've timed myself.
If speed-showering was an Olympic event, I'd be the perpetual gold medal winner. I'd be on a box of Calgon. Know what I'm saying?

Bob came home just after I got a shower and said "Oh! You smell nice!"
I said "I showered! I find it helps keep down the stink."
He said "Great, great" and wandered off to find some soda soda soda!!! He's like Animal from the Muppets when it comes to soda.

I laugh. I kid. I joke.

After the shower I managed to get in some time at the sewing machine. I'm making my own nursing pads so I don't have to use those horrible disposables nor pay good money for the really cheap looking and feeling reusables they sell at the store.
Mine are cute. And washable. And cost me about a quarter a pair to make. Ha! Take that commerce!
OK, Dylan just woke up (again). His first try at starting the day was at 5:30 am. Bob put him back to bed, thank goodness!
Time to start dealing cereal!

Going crazy, taking you with me

Nine days left.
Nothing I need to do is done.
I'm too tired.
I've had some "issues" the last day or so. Private issues. Issues which make me glad I'm not having a regular birth...you know, with all the pushing...
Let's just walk away from this conversation now...together on three. 1-2-3


Baby is still sguiggling inside all the time. You'd think that HE'D get tired, but no.
Yesterday I watched some of those baby shows where the baby gets born and the parents take the baby home and fumble all over themselves. That made me laugh.
One mom was actually going to voluntarily get induced at 39 weeks (as in, not late yet) because she was "uncomfortable" and "couldn't sleep"
Uh, yeah, cause a newborn is all about comfort and sleep.
Stoopid.

Another couple, lord bless them I hope they got smarter, was planning to raise their baby vegan (which is fine if you do it right...see House last week) and also was cloth diapering and nursing, Yay!
But, the mom and dad were dumb, dumb, dumb.
The mom was feeding the baby and the dad kept asking when he was going to get to burp the baby. She said, "when I switch sides"
Then, like a five year old he starts telling her "Just switch now, switch now. Just switch now."
Ugh.
Bitchslap to that dad.
She was trying to get a one-day old baby on a feeding schedule too, so was keeping track of the minutes he nursed. It was after seven minutes that the dad was begging her to switch. Moron.
Then later on, the baby woke up from a nap and dad's first order of business was not change diapers or feed baby, but take baby out into the sunshine for a walk.
Are you kidding me????
Seriously.

I watched that show saying out loud "Where is that child's grandmother? Hurry up and visit!"
Oh boy, were they something else.

Anyway, I feel much more confident in my newborn parenting skeelz after having seen that total train wreck.

My mom will be arriving here next Friday, to take over Dylan and Elizabeth duties and also scrub my house. She's got a whole plan. She can't wait to get me out of here and safely trapped in the hospital so she can rearrange my pots and pans cabinet, launder all my curtains, clean out my freezer and all her other diabolical schemes. She's crafty like that. She'll probably figure out in two days how to get Dylan to clean his room AND poop in the potty, and then I'll have to officially canonize her and get a portrait of her on velvet to hang over my fireplace. Saint Nani!
Dare to dream!

In other news:
Last night we had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. As Elizabeth warily eyed her serving (which was SMALL to begin with) I told her...

"This is the food you will eat for dinner. There is nothing else. There are no substitutions. Do not think that there are cookies, ice cream, cakes and candies waiting for you on the other side of this dinner. There is nothing. You will eat this dinner. This is all there is for you to eat until breakfast time tomorrow."

And she said (the little brat)
"I will think about that."

And proceeded to not eat one single bite of food.

Oh heavens...

This morning was my second to last check up.
I'm still not dilated at all, though that doesn't matter a whit.
The doctor also did not give me an estimate yet on baby's size...so we're still not sure just how gigantic a child we're going to get!

The last few days I've been waddling around like a penguin. Seriously. It's silly. So cliche.
I'm also getting stabbing pains in my hoo hah and feel like I'm going to pee my pants every time I stand up.
Ah, the miracle of life. It's a beautiful thing.

We finally got all three kid car seats today (had to order new ones that would fit three across in the car) and I got them all in! YAHOO!!
So, I WILL be able to take all three kids out of the house at once...like if I temporarily go insane and think that is a GOOD idea!



Also today, Elizabeth murdered a lizard with a dustpan.


I'll just let that bit of news hang out there for you.

what was I going to say???

I've got 12 days until the baby is out of me! Yay!
I'm exhausted.
EX-HAUSTED!
Not that it will get much better after he's born, but at least my mom will be here! And I fully plan to sleep in the hospital as much as I can.
This little baby is sapping all my energy and then using it to kick out a jam on my kidneys. STOP IT BABY!

The last three days have been the worst.
I usually find myself tired by 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Today I am already tired, and it is just 10:30 in the morning.
I only just woke up three hours ago and I'm already falling asleep here. This is not good.

I read this passage from an article on Dr. Spock's website. Not MR. Spock. Doctor.

If you have other children, it can be hard to make time to rest. Try to lie down at the same time your other children are napping. If they don't nap, try telling them it is quiet time and Mommy needs to rest.

Oh my goodness I about died laughing, but I was too tired to laugh.
Telling MY ANGELS that "mommy needs to rest" is ill-advised. They would interpret that as the signal from on-high to destroy, destroy, destroy!!! Or worse yet, escape! Dylan pulled off a fantastic escape yesterday. I wasn't even sleeping. He's good. Elizabeth came running in from the front deck (which I THOUGHT was gated off) yelling "Dylan went down the stairs!!!"
I found him about 40 feet away, just wandering around clad in only a diaper, SpongeBob shoes and a guilty face. I have no idea how he ungated the stairs.
Are you reading this Meredith?? :)

Anyway, normal late pregnancy fatigue aside, I've also run out of coffee, which is HORRIBLE! TERRIBLE!!! Truly unthinkable. It's heinous.
This delicious drink was the only thing keeping me awake for the last nine months. I have had zero coffee for the last three days. It's starting to hurt.
Not that I drink SO MUCH coffee, but dang, I need at least one good cup to get going. Maybe two.
Cutting down to zero is not working for me.
I'm not supposed to go into town until tomorrow, but I might have to make the trip today JUST to buy coffee. I can't live like this!
Seriously. I'm about to eat the coffee grounds from three days ago. Or attempt to re-brew them. It's bad. It's real bad.
I have to shake this off. I have things to do and remember and clean and..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In other news:
You'd think I'd have have tons of gray hair, with my children conspiring against me constantly, but no. I checked. No gray hair, yet.
I'm sure the TWO boys will get to work on that ASAP, STAT. Check. Done.

I can't keep my eyes open much longer. For real. I'm going to have to tie the children to something and take a nap.

Two weeks

Oh my goodness, this is really going to happen!
Two weeks from RIGHT NOW I'll have a third baby!
Yikes!

There's no way I'm prepared enough. There's just no way.

This baby, I'm not sure how big he is. He's head down and won't stop moving his arms and legs around, so my belly is always changing shapes!
He's big enough to where it really is not comfortable at all.
Fun fun fun!

So, this is it....

Ever been sick with a lingering, nagging cold for so long that you just finally give up and say, alright fine I guess this is just my life from now on. I'm just going to be that sick, hacking person on the bus forevermore.

That's me.
Except I don't ride the bus.

I've been sick with some sort of barbed cold virus for about two weeks now and I want to transfuse all of my bodily fluids in a radical attempt to flush it out.
The kids and Bob are also still afflicted with some form of sickie. Elizabeth has lingering pink eye, Dylan has a cough, Bob and I both have sinus infections and hacking coughs.
We're the Tuberculin Family!
Nah, but like that.

Last night Dylan woke up and escaped his crib at around 2 am ish...Bob brought him into bed with us (a bad idea) and Dylan hacked, kicked and scream-cried until Bob retired himself to the living room couch...aka the comfort cruise...aka it's not comfortable.
Finally Dylan fell asleep and joined the cacophony of his sister's phlegmy breathing. I swear, it was the emphysema ward in my room last night.
All moaning and groaning and hacking and rattling coughs.
Ugh.

Left alone with the children I had to fend for myself and protect my bed space! I actually moved from my side to the middle, then to Bob's side of the bed, just trying to keep some playing field for myself. No matter where I went there they were, feet in my back, breathing their hot germy breath on my face...ugh.
It was a deranged game of Twister.

Right foot in mommy's hair, left foot in mommy's rib! Now everyone COUGH! HACK! SNARFLE!!!!

Gah!

Not to mention the baby INSIDE!!!
Before bed last night, Elizabeth and I spent at least a half hour watching him kick the remote control off my belly with such ferocity. He's a dang mule!
Elizabeth just kept saying "This is awesome! This. Is. AWESOME!"

Yeah. Awesome.

In baby news...we've set the date for his birth. May 12!
Yay!
A finish line!
This will end our streak of single digit birthdays. I'm the first, Dylan the second, Bob the third and Elizabeth the ninth of our respective months.
Twelfth is cool though. Twelfth is cool.
Oh heck. I'd have this baby on the twenty-eleventh of Octvember if it meant a night of peaceful sleep.
Though, as you can see from the above words I've typed...that's NOT happening any time soon.

Maybe my bathroom is on the moon?

This is slightly disturbing, but not without reason.
Of course I'm knocked up and pregnant, just like Christina and J.Lo. Though I didn't try to fake you guys out, I just fessed up. So you already knew that.
What you may NOT know is that I get bad morning sickness. Real bad.
With Dylan I was so sick I lost weight before I started getting fat with fetus. He actually made me puke. It was great!
When I was pregnant with Elizabeth I had such weird morning (noon and night) sickness that I had to stop using my lotion because the smell of it made me hurl. I still can't even LOOK at that brand of lotion without getting queasy.

With NuBabee <= The official fetal nickname, I have wonderful all-day nausea but no pukeage, which is both awesome and horrible.
It's a total struggle to eat everyday. Most regular food items make me want to puke.
Yesterday I got so starving that I started to shake and get sort of dizzy. I force fed myself a turkey sandwich and got halfway through before the nastiness of processed cheese food made me want to die.
Still, half a sandwich is a victory.
Later on I ate a whole PB&J without problem.
I've learned that in this horrendous state it's best to just eat whatever isn't going to make me want to hurl. Last night dinner was chips and salsa. For breakfast today I made fresh baked bread and ate about 1/3 of it with butter. I made the kids hard-boiled eggs, and briefly considered cracking one for myself, but that bread in my belly flipped over at the thought of it. I put the egg back.
I'm now psyching myself up for a bag of Cheetos, which should be no problem since it's not really food but rather delicious orange cheeze powdered chemical puffs. Yum.
Oh, back to the moon bathroom...
When I found out I was pregnant, I weighed myself, just for a point of reference. You know, how fat am I gonna get??
I weighed myself yesterday, middle of the day, after eating something.
Four pounds less. Less.
LESS.
Sigh.
Oh, I can't poop either.
There's your TMI moment of the day!