I went to karaoke last night.
Most of the regular people were there.
But there were also some UNfamiliar faces.
Two of which were so strange, they are worth a mention here.
One of them was a very odd 45 year old man who, despite his best attempts to convince himself otherwise, was extremely gay. In the loving other men way of being gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just wasn't buying the whole, yeah, I just broke up with my girlfriend line. Really, was her name Steve?
The other was his "date" for the evening, who was a lady, which was strange enough. However, the REALLY strange factor in this twosome was that the gal was easily 75 years old. I mean, white hair, matching pants suit, wrinkly old lady.
And THAT was strange enough as well...
But then they started dancing. Together. Dirty dancing. Together.
EW EW EW!
I seriously wanted to die, come back to life, poke out my eyes and die again.
It was, in a word, hideous.
Showing posts with label news of the crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news of the crazy. Show all posts
Friday, February 06, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Vanity Fur
**Now with pics!!**
Louie is our cat. We have had Louie since the summer of 2002. Since before we got married, before we had kids, before we moved 47 times. Before everything. We're used to Louie and his antics.
He's a typical cat and a not so typical cat. He LOVES people. Not typical. He LOVES to kill mice and birds. So typical.
At times he can't be bothered to acknowledge your presence. Typical. At times he will follow the kids around waiting for them to sit down so he can jump into their lap. Not typical.
But like any cat who regularly ventures outdoors, Louie has learned that he needs to cover up his funky feline stank if he wants to sneak up on his unwitting prey. To do so, he will find a nice patch of dirt or old discarded fireplace ashes and roll around in them. The result is a very messy, but very stealthy Louie.
I can only assume that was his intention yesterday, when he got a bit more disguise than he bargained for.
Elizabeth and Dylan were outside playing in the yard, lest they wake up the very crabby baby from his very needed nap. Even though Elizabeth had a little cough, I bundled her up and sent her out to run around a bit.
You can imagine my surprise when the two of them come screaming across the yard and up the front steps in a full panic.
"Louie's gonna get us! He's gonna get us!"
"Mom! I'm scared!"
I jumped up and ran out onto the deck and after calming the children I surveyed the land for Louie. I found him lounging on top of a picnic table, licking his foot.
Very dangerous.
"Why are you out here screaming? Louie is NOT going to get you!" I said.
"But mom! He's all ORANGE!" Elizabeth said.
"He's all orange?" I was very confused. "Well, come inside if you don't want him to get you."
The kids came inside and I shut the front door behind them. Just then Louie bounded into the house from the WIDE open back door.
I looked at him, and he at me. He was indeed all orange. He is usually gray.
What the hell?
I touched his now orange fur. My hand did not come back orange. His cute little white sock feet were now orange. His head and part of his back on one side, a lovely shade of rusty orange.
Well, this was a mystery.
Not having the time to investigate, and not wanting to deal with cleaning up a layer of orange mystery dust from every surface of my house, I kicked Louie outside and shut all the doors so he couldn't get back in.
I got busy with kids and dinner and forgot about the orange fur mystery until Bob got home when the kids started yelling, "Daddy daddy! Louie is all orange!!" and "Louie is macaroni and cheese powder! He's gonna get me all cheesy!"
"What?!?!" Bob said.
"Oh yeah, Louie is orange," I explained.
"WHAT??!?!" Bob said, again, then examined Louie's new tint and went outside to investigate the source of the orange.
He initially thought Louie had triggered a can of orange spray paint, or alternatively that our neighbor (who we just LOVE) had sprayed Louie with spray paint. But that theory was dismissed when we observed that not only was the top of his head orange, but ALL four feet were orange.
We decided he must have walked INTO something orange, then rolled around in it, like he would a pile of dirt. But where was a pile of orange dirt???
It took Bob about 20 minutes, but he finally found a small pile of red concrete dye with kitty footprints all through it.
Mystery solved!
Since the source of the orange tint is actually a dye, it seems that Louie will be orange for awhile. At least until his fur grows out. I can't see taking him to the pet groomer and asking for a color correction.
Louie is our cat. We have had Louie since the summer of 2002. Since before we got married, before we had kids, before we moved 47 times. Before everything. We're used to Louie and his antics.
He's a typical cat and a not so typical cat. He LOVES people. Not typical. He LOVES to kill mice and birds. So typical.
At times he can't be bothered to acknowledge your presence. Typical. At times he will follow the kids around waiting for them to sit down so he can jump into their lap. Not typical.
But like any cat who regularly ventures outdoors, Louie has learned that he needs to cover up his funky feline stank if he wants to sneak up on his unwitting prey. To do so, he will find a nice patch of dirt or old discarded fireplace ashes and roll around in them. The result is a very messy, but very stealthy Louie.
I can only assume that was his intention yesterday, when he got a bit more disguise than he bargained for.
Elizabeth and Dylan were outside playing in the yard, lest they wake up the very crabby baby from his very needed nap. Even though Elizabeth had a little cough, I bundled her up and sent her out to run around a bit.
You can imagine my surprise when the two of them come screaming across the yard and up the front steps in a full panic.
"Louie's gonna get us! He's gonna get us!"
"Mom! I'm scared!"
I jumped up and ran out onto the deck and after calming the children I surveyed the land for Louie. I found him lounging on top of a picnic table, licking his foot.
Very dangerous.
"Why are you out here screaming? Louie is NOT going to get you!" I said.
"But mom! He's all ORANGE!" Elizabeth said.
"He's all orange?" I was very confused. "Well, come inside if you don't want him to get you."
The kids came inside and I shut the front door behind them. Just then Louie bounded into the house from the WIDE open back door.
I looked at him, and he at me. He was indeed all orange. He is usually gray.
What the hell?
I touched his now orange fur. My hand did not come back orange. His cute little white sock feet were now orange. His head and part of his back on one side, a lovely shade of rusty orange.
Well, this was a mystery.
Not having the time to investigate, and not wanting to deal with cleaning up a layer of orange mystery dust from every surface of my house, I kicked Louie outside and shut all the doors so he couldn't get back in.
I got busy with kids and dinner and forgot about the orange fur mystery until Bob got home when the kids started yelling, "Daddy daddy! Louie is all orange!!" and "Louie is macaroni and cheese powder! He's gonna get me all cheesy!"
"What?!?!" Bob said.
"Oh yeah, Louie is orange," I explained.
"WHAT??!?!" Bob said, again, then examined Louie's new tint and went outside to investigate the source of the orange.
He initially thought Louie had triggered a can of orange spray paint, or alternatively that our neighbor (who we just LOVE) had sprayed Louie with spray paint. But that theory was dismissed when we observed that not only was the top of his head orange, but ALL four feet were orange.
We decided he must have walked INTO something orange, then rolled around in it, like he would a pile of dirt. But where was a pile of orange dirt???
It took Bob about 20 minutes, but he finally found a small pile of red concrete dye with kitty footprints all through it.
Mystery solved!
Since the source of the orange tint is actually a dye, it seems that Louie will be orange for awhile. At least until his fur grows out. I can't see taking him to the pet groomer and asking for a color correction.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Another funny thing....
Not that I should be shocked, because I'm continually reminded of just how weird people are and what bizarre things people will pay good money for, but I was totally shocked yesterday to discover that there is a big industry built up around people playing Playstation games professionally.
Don't get me wrong, I've seen The Wizard, I knew that video game tournaments existed...I just didn't know that there were Best Buy sponsored, single elimination, professional tourneys held in Turks and Caicos and broadcast on ESPN (the Ocho?) with play by play guys and video packages on all the finalists and everything.
Insane.
So we're watching this for awhile...some pimply faced overweight weird dudes playing Madden Football...and I turn to Bob and say...
"If I knew that you were working toward this pro Madden player thing as a goal, I wouldn't have bitched so much about you always playing the PS2!"
And we laughed and laughed....because seriously, I still would have bitched.
Don't get me wrong, I've seen The Wizard, I knew that video game tournaments existed...I just didn't know that there were Best Buy sponsored, single elimination, professional tourneys held in Turks and Caicos and broadcast on ESPN (the Ocho?) with play by play guys and video packages on all the finalists and everything.
Insane.
So we're watching this for awhile...some pimply faced overweight weird dudes playing Madden Football...and I turn to Bob and say...
"If I knew that you were working toward this pro Madden player thing as a goal, I wouldn't have bitched so much about you always playing the PS2!"
And we laughed and laughed....because seriously, I still would have bitched.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Strange Things Are Afoot
We're planning for a change. A change we can believe in. It has very little to do with B.H.O.
I can't reveal any more details at this time.
Those of you in the know, already know. Keep it under your hats for now.
Don't you love cryptic blog postings?
I can't reveal any more details at this time.
Those of you in the know, already know. Keep it under your hats for now.
Don't you love cryptic blog postings?
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Fuel Light to Full Tank in $14!
This was a dream come true yesterday. I did a little dance in the gas station.
I threw down $20 to put gas into my car since the little light came on alerting me that the engine was about to ground to a halt. No good.
I was at Safeway so I used my PowerPump Rewards to get 20 cents off. Yay me! So I paid $1.319 per gallon for gas. Whoo hoo!
The pump clicked off about 15 cents shy of $14. I used my excellent gas pumping skills to make it the "perfect pump" at $14 even. Then I did something that I haven't been able to do in years. I went back to the window and got my CHANGE!!! Incredible.
"It's a Christmas Miracle!" I exclaimed as I danced back to my car! Yahoo! Change at the gas station! I'm used to scraping UP change to GIVE to the gas station. Like every single last nickel in my possession. Sometimes pennies.
This is a welcome change!
PS Sorry Amy, I like the low fuel prices :)
And I needed that boost of happiness too especially since I was threatened with arrest earlier that morning. Yeah. Arrest. As in go to jail, go directly to jail.
Long story short, our ass-backwards podunk water company came and locked off our water meter three weeks ago. We called the office confused since our bill wasn't due for another 10 days.
We worked out arrangements to pay down a HUGE balance, grown ever so large because they didn't send us a single water bill for almost THREE YEARS then sent a huge one over the summer for three years worth of service. Sigh. Then we tried to call the ONE AND ONLY person who turns on and off water for the company. His phone was ringing right to voicemail and the voicemail was full. We left callback numbers about eight times. He never called back. Finally we just snipped the metal ring that locked the water off (not the lock, the ring) and turned the water back on ourselves. We told the one and only gal who does the billing for the company that we had done this and we thought it was over.
The guy NEVER called us back at all in the next three weeks. Noone from the company called us at all.
Cut to about 11:45 yesterday morning. The jerky water guy and a sheriffs deputy are at my house. Apparently clipping the ring is a felony and we're all gonna go to jail. I'm trying to bring Elizabeth to school. It's 40 degrees outside. I have to explain the WHOLE situation with the water company to the deputy. He keeps telling me that he's gonna arrest me and take my kids away. Sigh.
The water jerk shut our water off again while he was out there and I threw a FIT. We paid our payment this month!!
He just about called me a liar and laughed in my face. I called him an ass. Then I called the billing gal. She said, and I quote: "I show your payment right here, and you're set to pay again on the first. I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S OUT THERE SHUTTING OFF YOUR WATER"
So he's a water vigilante I guess. Or he's just an ass with nothing better to do but harass me.
It took about a half hour but I was finally able to get the jerk to turn the water back on and I got the sheriff to quit threatening my imminent arrest and the kids and I left for school, leaving the whole sordid mess behind.
Whew.
Good times.
I threw down $20 to put gas into my car since the little light came on alerting me that the engine was about to ground to a halt. No good.
I was at Safeway so I used my PowerPump Rewards to get 20 cents off. Yay me! So I paid $1.319 per gallon for gas. Whoo hoo!
The pump clicked off about 15 cents shy of $14. I used my excellent gas pumping skills to make it the "perfect pump" at $14 even. Then I did something that I haven't been able to do in years. I went back to the window and got my CHANGE!!! Incredible.
"It's a Christmas Miracle!" I exclaimed as I danced back to my car! Yahoo! Change at the gas station! I'm used to scraping UP change to GIVE to the gas station. Like every single last nickel in my possession. Sometimes pennies.
This is a welcome change!
PS Sorry Amy, I like the low fuel prices :)
And I needed that boost of happiness too especially since I was threatened with arrest earlier that morning. Yeah. Arrest. As in go to jail, go directly to jail.
Long story short, our ass-backwards podunk water company came and locked off our water meter three weeks ago. We called the office confused since our bill wasn't due for another 10 days.
We worked out arrangements to pay down a HUGE balance, grown ever so large because they didn't send us a single water bill for almost THREE YEARS then sent a huge one over the summer for three years worth of service. Sigh. Then we tried to call the ONE AND ONLY person who turns on and off water for the company. His phone was ringing right to voicemail and the voicemail was full. We left callback numbers about eight times. He never called back. Finally we just snipped the metal ring that locked the water off (not the lock, the ring) and turned the water back on ourselves. We told the one and only gal who does the billing for the company that we had done this and we thought it was over.
The guy NEVER called us back at all in the next three weeks. Noone from the company called us at all.
Cut to about 11:45 yesterday morning. The jerky water guy and a sheriffs deputy are at my house. Apparently clipping the ring is a felony and we're all gonna go to jail. I'm trying to bring Elizabeth to school. It's 40 degrees outside. I have to explain the WHOLE situation with the water company to the deputy. He keeps telling me that he's gonna arrest me and take my kids away. Sigh.
The water jerk shut our water off again while he was out there and I threw a FIT. We paid our payment this month!!
He just about called me a liar and laughed in my face. I called him an ass. Then I called the billing gal. She said, and I quote: "I show your payment right here, and you're set to pay again on the first. I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S OUT THERE SHUTTING OFF YOUR WATER"
So he's a water vigilante I guess. Or he's just an ass with nothing better to do but harass me.
It took about a half hour but I was finally able to get the jerk to turn the water back on and I got the sheriff to quit threatening my imminent arrest and the kids and I left for school, leaving the whole sordid mess behind.
Whew.
Good times.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
The one in which I don't know what I've gotten myself into...
Last night was the parents' committee meeting at school.
I figured, since all three of my kids will probably be going to Head Start, I've got a good four more years at this school, so maybe I should go to the meetings.
Bob and I and all the kids went. They had child care set up for the kids to play which was awesome.
About midway through the meeting, they announced that they needed to elect a representative to the regional Head Start committee that meets every six weeks in Flagstaff...
Now, as my mom always says, I don't want to be IN a club unless I can be PRESIDENT of the club.
So I asked Bob if it was OK and then volunteered myself.
*Shockingly* noone else volunteered! (I don't mean to be mean, but some of the parents, wow.) At least they came to the committee meeting. There were PLENTY of parents who didn't show up. There's probably about 80 kids at that school, in the four classes. So, 80 sets of parents.
There was maybe 20-25 adults there at the meeting, so about 25 percent turnout. Not terrible. But wow, not great.
I was elected unanimously, yay! So now I'm the Show Low representative to the regional Head Start parents committee. I'm still not sure at all what that means, besides going to Flagstaff every six weeks for a meeting. Hey, it's only two hours or so away and I can shop at the "mall" while I'm there!
Also, the dad who heads up the male involvement activities at the school (just dads coming in with their kids and doing a craft or something dad-like) told Bob that they were moving away in a few months...maybe Bob will take over the male involvement?? Probably not. He's not MUCH of a joiner. But I think it would be fun for him and not much work.
Last time the dads and kids carved pumpkins. Next time it's building a pre-fab wooden crayon box. All the supplies are donated, so it's free and fun. We'll see how that goes.
HOLY COW!!!
LIVE BLOG UPDATE!
My computer is right by the front door, cozy.
I just heard some crows realllllly loud out there, so I knew they were either on the porch or on the house. I hate crows, they had to go.
I opened up the front door and two HUGE GIANT DISGUSTING HUGE crows flew away from the house. One was on the roof, one in the tree right next to the porch.
Right in between them, on the porch railing was my kitty Louie! They were trying to attack Louie!!!
Thank goodness I scared them off, they were as big as he is!
As they flew away I said to Louie, "Are you OK?"
He jumped off the porch railing and ran into the house and said "Meow."
I figured, since all three of my kids will probably be going to Head Start, I've got a good four more years at this school, so maybe I should go to the meetings.
Bob and I and all the kids went. They had child care set up for the kids to play which was awesome.
About midway through the meeting, they announced that they needed to elect a representative to the regional Head Start committee that meets every six weeks in Flagstaff...
Now, as my mom always says, I don't want to be IN a club unless I can be PRESIDENT of the club.
So I asked Bob if it was OK and then volunteered myself.
*Shockingly* noone else volunteered! (I don't mean to be mean, but some of the parents, wow.) At least they came to the committee meeting. There were PLENTY of parents who didn't show up. There's probably about 80 kids at that school, in the four classes. So, 80 sets of parents.
There was maybe 20-25 adults there at the meeting, so about 25 percent turnout. Not terrible. But wow, not great.
I was elected unanimously, yay! So now I'm the Show Low representative to the regional Head Start parents committee. I'm still not sure at all what that means, besides going to Flagstaff every six weeks for a meeting. Hey, it's only two hours or so away and I can shop at the "mall" while I'm there!
Also, the dad who heads up the male involvement activities at the school (just dads coming in with their kids and doing a craft or something dad-like) told Bob that they were moving away in a few months...maybe Bob will take over the male involvement?? Probably not. He's not MUCH of a joiner. But I think it would be fun for him and not much work.
Last time the dads and kids carved pumpkins. Next time it's building a pre-fab wooden crayon box. All the supplies are donated, so it's free and fun. We'll see how that goes.
HOLY COW!!!
LIVE BLOG UPDATE!
My computer is right by the front door, cozy.
I just heard some crows realllllly loud out there, so I knew they were either on the porch or on the house. I hate crows, they had to go.
I opened up the front door and two HUGE GIANT DISGUSTING HUGE crows flew away from the house. One was on the roof, one in the tree right next to the porch.
Right in between them, on the porch railing was my kitty Louie! They were trying to attack Louie!!!
Thank goodness I scared them off, they were as big as he is!
As they flew away I said to Louie, "Are you OK?"
He jumped off the porch railing and ran into the house and said "Meow."
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Two seconds later....
I was coming back home after picking up Elizabeth from school yesterday.
We live out of town, so we have to drive a bit on the two-lane highway.
Yesterday was the day that the county decided to FINALLY mow down the huge weeds that have been growing on the shoulder of the highway for months.
So they had this HUGE mower out there all day, like the size of a tractor.
Anyway, we're heading home and approaching the mower which is on the opposite side of the road.
Suddenly, something hits my windshield. I think, "OH GREAT! A rock hit my windshield."
Then before I can even finish that thought, it's a glittering shower of "rocks" all over my car. It was LOUD! It was like sparkly hail.
The car in front of me slows WAAAAY down and starts pulling off the road.
That's when I realize, oh man! That's not shiny rocks! That's GLASS!
My whole car is being pelted with auto glass.
The driver in front of me pulls off entirely and as I drive by I can see that the gal's driver side window is completely shattered!
Scary!!
I called the sheriff's department and they said the driver herself had already called. Whew! I was glad to hear that she was ok.
Then I though, oh my! If I was driving two seconds faster, that would have been MY car, and MY babies covered in glass shards! Scary!
My only thought is that the mower must have kicked up a rock or something and it happened to hit that car window just right to totally smash it.
Later on Bob drove by the car on his way home too and he was SHOCKED to hear that we were right behind that vehicle when it happened.
We live out of town, so we have to drive a bit on the two-lane highway.
Yesterday was the day that the county decided to FINALLY mow down the huge weeds that have been growing on the shoulder of the highway for months.
So they had this HUGE mower out there all day, like the size of a tractor.
Anyway, we're heading home and approaching the mower which is on the opposite side of the road.
Suddenly, something hits my windshield. I think, "OH GREAT! A rock hit my windshield."
Then before I can even finish that thought, it's a glittering shower of "rocks" all over my car. It was LOUD! It was like sparkly hail.
The car in front of me slows WAAAAY down and starts pulling off the road.
That's when I realize, oh man! That's not shiny rocks! That's GLASS!
My whole car is being pelted with auto glass.
The driver in front of me pulls off entirely and as I drive by I can see that the gal's driver side window is completely shattered!
Scary!!
I called the sheriff's department and they said the driver herself had already called. Whew! I was glad to hear that she was ok.
Then I though, oh my! If I was driving two seconds faster, that would have been MY car, and MY babies covered in glass shards! Scary!
My only thought is that the mower must have kicked up a rock or something and it happened to hit that car window just right to totally smash it.
Later on Bob drove by the car on his way home too and he was SHOCKED to hear that we were right behind that vehicle when it happened.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Shhh. Don't jinx it!
There's this thing that might happen and if it does it will be SO GREAT AND FANTASTIC!
But I'm not supposed to know too much about it or even talk about it because apparently, I'm a jinx.
Who knew!?
Keep your fingers crossed! even though technically, you aren't even supposed to know that you should be crossing your fingers!
But I'm not supposed to know too much about it or even talk about it because apparently, I'm a jinx.
Who knew!?
Keep your fingers crossed! even though technically, you aren't even supposed to know that you should be crossing your fingers!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Anecdotes...
Last night a Jackrabbit tried to break into our garden.
We chased him off.
Dylan sang "Hit the road Jack(rabbit), and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more!"
The "no more" is his favorite part.
Jack was a HUGE animal. Bigger than two Louies. Don't think that would stop Louie from trying to take Jack down!
God love her, my mom's cousin sent Dylan some T-shirts that say things when you push a button on the shirt. And you can't take the noisemaker thing out of the shirt, AND it's all waterproof so it won't get ruined in the washing machine. AND Dylan loves the shirt and won't take it off.
Last Saturday I took the big kids to visit their Uncle while I went to the post office. Uncle Todd has one son and takes in all the nieces and nephews he has on his wife's side of the family. No lie sometimes he has 7 kids.
Saturday it was just two extra kids.
Remember how I said that Dylan told the missionaries that his name was SpongeBob. Well I guess he tells everyone that, because when we pulled up and I unloaded Dylan from the car the two extra kids (who we don't see that often) said "Hey SpongeBob! Come play with us!"
It wouldn't be a stretch to them that a kid was actually named SpongeBob, especially since the younger of the two is called (but not actually named) Stitch - from Lilo and Stitch. I swear I didn't KNOW that kid's real name for years.
I got a bloody nose in the middle of the night while nursing Benjamin.
I had to grab a cloth diaper off his shelf and bleed all over it to avoid bleeding all over him.
All the ruckus woke up Bob, who despite having been woken up at 3 am should have been more sympathetic to my plight.
I believe he said "Huh? Oh." and went back to sleep.
Today the kids and I went to WalMart and I swear I'm a celebrity when I go in there wearing Benjamin in his wrap. EVERYONE wants to talk to me about it. All the old ladies want to see the baby and talk about how cute he looks all snuggled up. I'm a walking advertisement for baby wraps! Luckily for those people I'm (fairly) friendly and don't mind chatting them up about how the wrap works and how comfortable it is, etc etc.
One day I'll get someone to take a pic of me and Ben using the wrap. I swear.
While I was driving home from WalMart I came to an intersection, just beyond which is the Sonic Drive In.
The person in front of me slowed down to enter the parking lot of Sonic. I, not wanting to smash through his rear bumper, slowed down as well.
SOMEONE else on the road found this to be an abomination apparently as a loud chorus of honking rang out immediately thereafter.
Hey, honky mchonkerson! Shut it!
It reminds me of a Dane Cook bit...
"Why did you stop at that red light and let me hit you going 90?!??"
Too funny.
SuFi for life.
Peace, I'm out.
Here's some recent (taken TODAY) pics of Ben.
We chased him off.
Dylan sang "Hit the road Jack(rabbit), and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more!"
The "no more" is his favorite part.
Jack was a HUGE animal. Bigger than two Louies. Don't think that would stop Louie from trying to take Jack down!
God love her, my mom's cousin sent Dylan some T-shirts that say things when you push a button on the shirt. And you can't take the noisemaker thing out of the shirt, AND it's all waterproof so it won't get ruined in the washing machine. AND Dylan loves the shirt and won't take it off.
Last Saturday I took the big kids to visit their Uncle while I went to the post office. Uncle Todd has one son and takes in all the nieces and nephews he has on his wife's side of the family. No lie sometimes he has 7 kids.
Saturday it was just two extra kids.
Remember how I said that Dylan told the missionaries that his name was SpongeBob. Well I guess he tells everyone that, because when we pulled up and I unloaded Dylan from the car the two extra kids (who we don't see that often) said "Hey SpongeBob! Come play with us!"
It wouldn't be a stretch to them that a kid was actually named SpongeBob, especially since the younger of the two is called (but not actually named) Stitch - from Lilo and Stitch. I swear I didn't KNOW that kid's real name for years.
I got a bloody nose in the middle of the night while nursing Benjamin.
I had to grab a cloth diaper off his shelf and bleed all over it to avoid bleeding all over him.
All the ruckus woke up Bob, who despite having been woken up at 3 am should have been more sympathetic to my plight.
I believe he said "Huh? Oh." and went back to sleep.
Today the kids and I went to WalMart and I swear I'm a celebrity when I go in there wearing Benjamin in his wrap. EVERYONE wants to talk to me about it. All the old ladies want to see the baby and talk about how cute he looks all snuggled up. I'm a walking advertisement for baby wraps! Luckily for those people I'm (fairly) friendly and don't mind chatting them up about how the wrap works and how comfortable it is, etc etc.
One day I'll get someone to take a pic of me and Ben using the wrap. I swear.
While I was driving home from WalMart I came to an intersection, just beyond which is the Sonic Drive In.
The person in front of me slowed down to enter the parking lot of Sonic. I, not wanting to smash through his rear bumper, slowed down as well.
SOMEONE else on the road found this to be an abomination apparently as a loud chorus of honking rang out immediately thereafter.
Hey, honky mchonkerson! Shut it!
It reminds me of a Dane Cook bit...
"Why did you stop at that red light and let me hit you going 90?!??"
Too funny.
SuFi for life.
Peace, I'm out.
Here's some recent (taken TODAY) pics of Ben.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Funny news from someplace we've been!
Kanab, Utah to lift ban on bikinis at public pool
Ah, Kanab.
We go through Kanab at least once a year on our way to even MORE conservative southern Utah towns!
Tiny dots on a map like Hatch, Cannonville and Panguitch.
I like Kanab. But I don't even dare wear a bikini, so I share those values with the Kanabites. Kanabians? Kanab-ers?
Here are some photos of Kanab in Oct. 2006
Ah, Kanab.
We go through Kanab at least once a year on our way to even MORE conservative southern Utah towns!
Tiny dots on a map like Hatch, Cannonville and Panguitch.
I like Kanab. But I don't even dare wear a bikini, so I share those values with the Kanabites. Kanabians? Kanab-ers?
Here are some photos of Kanab in Oct. 2006
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The week in review
Gosh! Has it really been a week since I posted??
I'm so busy lately...wonder why?
I haven't left the house in almost two weeks, since the baby's first checkup appointment. This afternoon I'll leave again (this time I'll drive myself, yay!) for another baby checkup appointment. Didn't you know, he's two weeks old now!
Operation New Hotness is going great.
I'm not really watching what I'm eating, unless you count me watching it fly from the plate into my mouth! Ha ha ha...no seriously. I'm trying to be sensible on food choice and portions but breastfeeding makes me dang hungry. And it makes me want to eat half a carrot cake that I made from scratch yesterday. Well, maybe not half, but more than my portion should have been. I couldn't help myself. Not to toot my own horn, but DANG that was some good carrot cake!
But for reals, ONH (Operation New Hotness) is so far a total success.
Here are the tactical successes so far:
* I have lost an estimated total of 19 pounds (estimated because my scale is one of those broke-down rotary style, note to self, buy digital scale!) in the two weeks since Ben was born. Yes, most of that is baby, baby's accessories and fluids and bloat. But hell, I'll take it! Total weight loss gets me down to two pounds over my weight at my first prenatal check, which is awesome. I also have another six days to peel off one more pound, thus reaching my goal of DW-20 by three weeks postpartum.
Kick ass!
* Because of the awesome weight loss, I can fit into my REGULAR jeans! I'm wearing them right now!
They are not the size I was wearing when I GOT pregnant, but I've still got about eight pounds to lose to get back to my last summer low weight, which for reference purposes only is DW-27. I'll get there, and then some.
* I had Bob set up the exercise machine in my bedroom. For me to get from my side of the bed out of the room I have to scooch by that machine. Motivation! Since I'm still not technically cleared for exercise at all (or driving for that matter) I have started out just doing 20 minutes at a time, very slowly.
Next week at my checkup I should get cleared for some exercise and I'll start working up to 45 minutes a day.
In other news:
My mom left Sunday morning, which made me very sad. Both because I would be braving the world of three children all alone during the day, SCARY, and because of course I'll just miss my mom.
Whenever she visits it always makes me wish that we didn't live so far away. Not just for the free childcare services, but you know, I just miss my mom.
And the kids just absolutely love her. She's crazy like them, so it works out. One morning I happened to get to Dylan's room first and he climbed out of his crib, took one snotty look at me and said:
"Where's Nani?"
Ouch.
Anyway, the pain of her leaving is dulled by the fact that we're traveling to her house in mid-July for a visit. Nani's got the big SoCal house and the pool and she takes us to all the cool attractions like the zoo and the aquarium. We have access to none of these things at home. We usually make the trip a good long visit when we go so we can fill up on interesting activities before we return home to no mans land.
I know we're going to the Santa Barbara Zoo and the Gardens of the World in Thousand Oaks and probably the beach at the Ventura Marina, because we always do. Beyond that, I'm not sure. I'll have to scope out some cool new places to go. Last summer we went to the Long Beach Aquarium, which was cool, but sort of small for the admission price.
I'm a beggar though, and should not be so choosey.
Any SoCal kid-friendly suggestions are welcome! You'd think I'd already know having grown up there but I haven't lived in SoCal in almost 12 years, things have changed, a lot.
For instance, where there used to be huge empty vacant lots down the street from my mom's house, there's now a giant movie theater and a TGI Fridays. And a big giant police station.
The little farm where we used to buy fresh berries and pumpkins is now senior living condos and a shopping center. Feh.
In just the last year a little vacant lot on my mom's street was bought and someone started building a house on it (but didn't finish!) So the lot where we all used to play as kids (and was vacant for upwards of 25 years) is now a half completed house. Bummer.
Anyway...
The other major news of this week was that we finally got our garden planted! Yay! Then it snowed for two days. Booo.
Yes. Snow. And hail, and thunderstorming rain and all that fun crap that was supposed to be OVER!
We think we only lost one eggplant plant, but we'll see. Gah!
On the cuteness front, Ben is an awesome baby. He sleeps great, he's an excellent nurser and I think he's growing just fine. We'll see this afternoon!
Here are some pics in which he appears to have an alien head.
I'm so busy lately...wonder why?
I haven't left the house in almost two weeks, since the baby's first checkup appointment. This afternoon I'll leave again (this time I'll drive myself, yay!) for another baby checkup appointment. Didn't you know, he's two weeks old now!
Operation New Hotness is going great.
I'm not really watching what I'm eating, unless you count me watching it fly from the plate into my mouth! Ha ha ha...no seriously. I'm trying to be sensible on food choice and portions but breastfeeding makes me dang hungry. And it makes me want to eat half a carrot cake that I made from scratch yesterday. Well, maybe not half, but more than my portion should have been. I couldn't help myself. Not to toot my own horn, but DANG that was some good carrot cake!
But for reals, ONH (Operation New Hotness) is so far a total success.
Here are the tactical successes so far:
* I have lost an estimated total of 19 pounds (estimated because my scale is one of those broke-down rotary style, note to self, buy digital scale!) in the two weeks since Ben was born. Yes, most of that is baby, baby's accessories and fluids and bloat. But hell, I'll take it! Total weight loss gets me down to two pounds over my weight at my first prenatal check, which is awesome. I also have another six days to peel off one more pound, thus reaching my goal of DW-20 by three weeks postpartum.
Kick ass!
* Because of the awesome weight loss, I can fit into my REGULAR jeans! I'm wearing them right now!
They are not the size I was wearing when I GOT pregnant, but I've still got about eight pounds to lose to get back to my last summer low weight, which for reference purposes only is DW-27. I'll get there, and then some.
* I had Bob set up the exercise machine in my bedroom. For me to get from my side of the bed out of the room I have to scooch by that machine. Motivation! Since I'm still not technically cleared for exercise at all (or driving for that matter) I have started out just doing 20 minutes at a time, very slowly.
Next week at my checkup I should get cleared for some exercise and I'll start working up to 45 minutes a day.
In other news:
My mom left Sunday morning, which made me very sad. Both because I would be braving the world of three children all alone during the day, SCARY, and because of course I'll just miss my mom.
Whenever she visits it always makes me wish that we didn't live so far away. Not just for the free childcare services, but you know, I just miss my mom.
And the kids just absolutely love her. She's crazy like them, so it works out. One morning I happened to get to Dylan's room first and he climbed out of his crib, took one snotty look at me and said:
"Where's Nani?"
Ouch.
Anyway, the pain of her leaving is dulled by the fact that we're traveling to her house in mid-July for a visit. Nani's got the big SoCal house and the pool and she takes us to all the cool attractions like the zoo and the aquarium. We have access to none of these things at home. We usually make the trip a good long visit when we go so we can fill up on interesting activities before we return home to no mans land.
I know we're going to the Santa Barbara Zoo and the Gardens of the World in Thousand Oaks and probably the beach at the Ventura Marina, because we always do. Beyond that, I'm not sure. I'll have to scope out some cool new places to go. Last summer we went to the Long Beach Aquarium, which was cool, but sort of small for the admission price.
I'm a beggar though, and should not be so choosey.
Any SoCal kid-friendly suggestions are welcome! You'd think I'd already know having grown up there but I haven't lived in SoCal in almost 12 years, things have changed, a lot.
For instance, where there used to be huge empty vacant lots down the street from my mom's house, there's now a giant movie theater and a TGI Fridays. And a big giant police station.
The little farm where we used to buy fresh berries and pumpkins is now senior living condos and a shopping center. Feh.
In just the last year a little vacant lot on my mom's street was bought and someone started building a house on it (but didn't finish!) So the lot where we all used to play as kids (and was vacant for upwards of 25 years) is now a half completed house. Bummer.
Anyway...
The other major news of this week was that we finally got our garden planted! Yay! Then it snowed for two days. Booo.
Yes. Snow. And hail, and thunderstorming rain and all that fun crap that was supposed to be OVER!
We think we only lost one eggplant plant, but we'll see. Gah!
On the cuteness front, Ben is an awesome baby. He sleeps great, he's an excellent nurser and I think he's growing just fine. We'll see this afternoon!
Here are some pics in which he appears to have an alien head.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Welcome to Earth! Land of the Crazy and Insane: Britney Free Edition!
Here's a quick roundup of the news articles which prove that Earthlings are indeed crazy and insane, if not as a whole, then at least individually:
* Because of a shrinking population, the result of a birth rate that is being rapidly outpaced by the rate of deaths, a Russian governor is pleading with citizens to skip work and make a baby!
Those who successfully conceive and bear a child on June 12 will receive a litany of cash and prizes, one of which is a brand new HOME!!!!
* Makes you think twice about flirting! Some psycho in Cambodia got obsessed with a girl in high school, waited it out a few years. Then followed her on the street and INJECTED HER WITH HIS OWN BLOOD!! He said if he couldn't be with her, at least his blood would be. Looooooney.
The gal is being tested for infectious diseases and probably getting fitted for full body armor at this moment.
This guy makes the guy who broke into my apartment junior year of college and waited for me to get home so he could tell me he was in love with me look like a sensible, levelheaded young man.
*In "Thank Goodness Most Criminals are Stupid" news:
Some dinky broad drove to court to pay a traffic ticket in a STOLEN CAR.
Cops arrested her and her passenger as she exited the vehicle.
No word on whether the original ticket was paid.
* And finally, in Global Warming News:
We've been asked to give up our SUVs, switch to swirly lightbulbs, reduce reuse and recycle, and now this!
According to "scientists" we now should cut back our consumption of red meat to ease the planet's rocketing temperature spike. The reasoning being that the agricultural resources devoted to raising cattle account for 20 percent of greenhouse gases and... (This is how you know I didn't make this story up...it's too funny even for me to think of)
They can take my Hummer, but they'll never take my ribeye!!!
* Because of a shrinking population, the result of a birth rate that is being rapidly outpaced by the rate of deaths, a Russian governor is pleading with citizens to skip work and make a baby!
Those who successfully conceive and bear a child on June 12 will receive a litany of cash and prizes, one of which is a brand new HOME!!!!
* Makes you think twice about flirting! Some psycho in Cambodia got obsessed with a girl in high school, waited it out a few years. Then followed her on the street and INJECTED HER WITH HIS OWN BLOOD!! He said if he couldn't be with her, at least his blood would be. Looooooney.
The gal is being tested for infectious diseases and probably getting fitted for full body armor at this moment.
This guy makes the guy who broke into my apartment junior year of college and waited for me to get home so he could tell me he was in love with me look like a sensible, levelheaded young man.
*In "Thank Goodness Most Criminals are Stupid" news:
Some dinky broad drove to court to pay a traffic ticket in a STOLEN CAR.
Cops arrested her and her passenger as she exited the vehicle.
No word on whether the original ticket was paid.
* And finally, in Global Warming News:
We've been asked to give up our SUVs, switch to swirly lightbulbs, reduce reuse and recycle, and now this!
According to "scientists" we now should cut back our consumption of red meat to ease the planet's rocketing temperature spike. The reasoning being that the agricultural resources devoted to raising cattle account for 20 percent of greenhouse gases and... (This is how you know I didn't make this story up...it's too funny even for me to think of)
...livestock production has a particularly big impact because of the large amount of methane emitted from belching cattle.
They can take my Hummer, but they'll never take my ribeye!!!
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